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15th November 05, 08:37 AM
#1
Beer humour.
My apologies if this is an old joke. I just found it this morning.
One day the presidents of Budweiser, Miller, and Guinness go out to dinner together. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud, the president of Miller orders a Miller and the president of Guinness orders a Coke. The waiter expresses surprise and asks why. The president of Guiness says, "Well if these gentlemen aren't having a beer, I don't see why I should either".
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15th November 05, 08:49 AM
#2
Great joke, Al. Here's one to share:
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A big, brash Texan walks into a pub in Dublin and sits at the bar. "Bartender," he drawls, "Ah heard tell that you Irish are big drinkers. I'll give $500 to any man who can drink 20 Guinnesses in a row, no stopping."
The rest of the bar hears this, of course, and a few of them mumble to each other but no one takes the Texan up on his offer. One man even takes a look at the Texan and walks out of the pub.
The Texan says "hell, I thought so. The only real men are from Texas." He turns around to have a drink.
About 20 minutes later, the man who left the pub comes back in. "I'll take you up on that offer, friend," he says. The Texan stands up and orders up 20 pints of Guinness, which the bartender sets up across the bar.
The man takes a deep breath, shakes his head a bit, and starts. 5 minutes later, all 20 pints are empty, and the man is licking his lips. The Texan is stunned, but hands over the $500 to the Irishman.
"Hell, boy, that was some fine drinkin'. Guess it's true what I heard," the Texan admits. "But... where'd you run off to before?"
"Ah," said the Irishman, "I went to the pub down the street to see if I could do it, first."
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15th November 05, 09:32 AM
#3
Fine jokes, then beer is fine even in jokes
Never thought much of Bud or Miller, and now since drinking at the local micro brewery I'd much rather have that Coke too.
Jack
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15th November 05, 10:49 AM
#4
An Irishman went into the local pub and ordered three pints of Guinness. When he got them, he carried them over to a table by himself, and drank them one at a time.
This went on for several weeks, until one day the publican asked, "Why do you order three pints at a time for yourself? I'm happy to pour them as you go, and the beer will be better at the third pint."
"Ah," the man replied. "My two brothers moved to America, so when I drink the three pints, it's as if we're drinking together."
The publican thought this was a fine idea, and life went on as before for many months. One day the man came in and only ordered two pints, carrying them to his table as before. The publican waited a few minutes, and approached the man, "I'd like to offer my condolences."
"What do you mean?"
"I assumed that, since you only ordered two pints, one of your brothers had passed away."
"Oh no!" replied the man. "I've just quit drinking!"
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