X Marks the Scot - An on-line community of kilt wearers.

   X Marks Partners - (Go to the Partners Dedicated Forums )
USA Kilts website Celtic Croft website Celtic Corner website Houston Kiltmakers

User Tag List

Results 1 to 10 of 14

Thread: Words

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Southern Breeze's Avatar
    Southern Breeze is offline Oops, it seems this member needs to update their email address
    Join Date
    28th August 05
    Location
    Chatsworth Georgia, USA
    Posts
    3,867
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Smile Words

    I got this in an e-mail some time ago.

    WORDS

    1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

    2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

    3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    4. A backward poet writes inverse.

    5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's
    your Count that votes.

    6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

    8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

    9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you
    A-flat minor.

    10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    11. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

    12. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
    Linoleum Blownapart.

    13. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

    15. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

    16. Every calendar's days are numbered.

    17. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

    18. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

    19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

    20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

    21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small
    medium at large.

    22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the
    end.

    23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

    24. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

    25. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought
    she'd dye.

    26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

    27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

    29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    4th April 06
    Location
    Cleveland Oh.
    Posts
    142
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Great stuff! It's good to see some wit. Thanks for sharing!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    28th May 06
    Location
    Powhatan, VA. USA
    Posts
    234
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Bwahahahaha! That was funny! Great post!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    31st May 06
    Location
    Clinton, South Carolina (USA)-> Atlanta native
    Posts
    1,787
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Continue to wax eloquently!

    They are wonderful usage of terminology and homonyms.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    3rd January 05
    Location
    Detoit, Michigan USA
    Posts
    3,767
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Great stuff!
    [B]Paul Murray[/B]
    Kilted in Detroit! Now that's tough.... LOL

  6. #6
    Southern Breeze's Avatar
    Southern Breeze is offline Oops, it seems this member needs to update their email address
    Join Date
    28th August 05
    Location
    Chatsworth Georgia, USA
    Posts
    3,867
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery .
    A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
    A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
    My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
    Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
    I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
    A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
    Shotgun wedding A case of wife or death.
    I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
    I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
    A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
    Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
    Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
    Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
    Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
    Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
    A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
    Without geometry, life is pointless.
    When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
    Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
    When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
    If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

» Log in

User Name:

Password:

Not a member yet?
Register Now!
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v4.2.0