Scottish family members

**Lyrd** · 3rd May 08, 01:40 AM

Responding to another thread got me thinking about my grandfather on my moms side. ( and about how out of shape i am! 27" waist indeed!) I am second gen american on my mothers side, her father being born and raised in scotland. And oddly on my fathers side, which is Danish (Nielsen) is found only about 4 or 5 generations ago, a Nielsen who married a MacKenzie. (weird huh?) But i digress. What i was reminded of, and started thinking was an odd mentality of my Grandpa's. He spoke frequently, and told stories about his childhood growing up and his time in the Scottish Military during WW2, but he never spoke in a specific way, or even a general one, about Scotland itself. None of it's history, it's myths, it's stories. The man knew Gaelic but hardly ever spoke it. He never taught it to my mom, and even refused to teach it to me when i asked him once. In fact he worked hard to even erase all traces of his accent. And was successful, unless he got really angry. Then his accent returned full force. In fact the man would sometimes yell at the TV and would be unintelligible which entertained my brother and me to no end when we were wee bairn's. I once asked him, shortly before he passed away, why he never spoke of Scotland or were he grew up, and his answer was " because i'm an American". " I came here to be an American, and American is what I will be! I didnt make sacrifices to come to america and be successful and raise your mother to be successful to be scottish in america." " This country has given me great opportunities and i owe it my full measure of loyalty". Now keep in mind i paraphrased that..the man didnt actually speak like that, but that was the gist of it. I always got the impression that he wasnt unhappy, or ashamed of Scotland, in fact i think he loved it very much, but that he chose to come to america, and so chose to BECOME American. I've noticed that immigrants frequently fall into one of 2 categories. Either they turn their homes and their lives into shrines to their birth country, even refusing to learn english...or they seem to almost reject their birth countries.

**Lyrd** · 3rd May 08, 01:46 AM

Mods, feel free to move this to off topic, as this isnt about kilts even in a general way. I dont know why i posted it here. Sorry.

**McMurdo** · 3rd May 08, 02:55 AM

Moved to Off Topic
My parents are almost the same way, although they have kept thier accents as well as telling us some things about thier childhood in Scotland, the thing is they would both say they are Canadian.

**Coinneach** · 3rd May 08, 04:23 AM

My father's parents came from Norway and Sweden near the turn of the 20th century. They didn't teach any of their children their native tongues, but my dad did say they would sit at the table speaking Norwegian and Swedish deciding what to get the kids for Christmas. But that and their accents were about the only thing they kept with them when they came to America. Well, one other thing...my grandmother made the best Swedish pancakes.

**Howard Clark** · 3rd May 08, 04:28 AM

Well I can't say, in regards to the ancestors that came here from the other side of the Atlantic. They are all long dead before my arrival. However, there has never been any discussion of "home" from any of my relatives. All my ancestors were dirt poor peasant stock, and only too glad to get to America, and have the opportunity that it represented, and still does today.

I wonder sometimes if we aren't all too enamored with being a hyphenated-american, instead of just americans ?

**ThreadBbdr** · 3rd May 08, 06:16 AM

My late husband was born in Germany to an American soldier stationed there post WWII and a woman of German-Czech descent. Walt didn't speak German, and my mother in law didn't keep any customs or folk dress. About the only thing that 'stayed' was food - yummmm rolladen!

I think the two ways of coping with the culture shock of being transplanted are exactly as you describe. It's a pity, really. If you choose the 'assimilate' way, you loose your root culture. If you choose the 'enclave' way, you don't really become part of the American culture, and risk being 'stuck in the barrio/chinatown/ghetto/etc'. But it must be hard to find a middle ground.

**Arlen** · 3rd May 08, 07:53 AM

I'm from Scotland but about to move to America to live with my American wife.
Had it not been for meeting her, I would likely have stayed in Scotland my whole life.
I am proud of my country andmy heritage.I don't have any intention of losing my accent.
BUT, I love America very much. And I plan to become a citizen there so that I can vote.
Yes, I will always be Scottish. And my children will vist Scotland regularly and learn about their heritage. But they will learn about and be proud of their American heritage, too.

In short, I will not be insular and refuse to accept livin in America, but neither will I change who I am or what Scotland hasmade of me.
I'll get the best of both worlds.

**sharpdressedscot** · 3rd May 08, 08:15 AM

I've noticed that immigrants frequently fall into one of 2 categories. Either they turn their homes and their lives into shrines to their birth country, even refusing to learn english...or they seem to almost reject their birth countries.

Well, that's not entirely true. My mother is from South America and she immigrated to the US, she still speaks Spanish, speaks English very fluently, and is learning German. However, if you're talking about immigrants today (or maybe even way back), then yes, they do fall into one of those categories but I guess there are exceptions for everything.

Maybe your father was just trying to forget something that happened back then? Maybe something very life-altering?

**macwilkin** · 3rd May 08, 08:31 AM

Originally Posted by Arlen

I'm from Scotland but about to move to America to live with my American wife.
Had it not been for meeting her, I would likely have stayed in Scotland my whole life.
I am proud of my country andmy heritage.I don't have any intention of losing my accent.
BUT, I love America very much. And I plan to become a citizen there so that I can vote.
Yes, I will always be Scottish. And my children will vist Scotland regularly and learn about their heritage. But they will learn about and be proud of their American heritage, too.

In short, I will not be insular and refuse to accept livin in America, but neither will I change who I am or what Scotland hasmade of me.
I'll get the best of both worlds.

Well said, Arlen.

Your words remind me of my friend Alex, who passed away in December. He was proud of being Scottish (a Leith man), but was also proud to be a new citizen of the United States.

Cheers,

Todd

**Ozman1944** · 3rd May 08, 08:49 AM

I'm a U.S. Citizen; Immigrated in 1977 from Australia. I love it here -warts & all- and this is now "home'.
However, I have never entertained the idea of losing my Aussie accent (you have to deliberately work to obtain a U.S. "brogue", I think it's a silly affected thing to do, personally).
And I do have an "Aussie Wall" - just one wall in my home with Aboriginal Art, & stuff. Plus a Boomerang above the front door, so visitors will always return.

But this is where I have settled, and where I intend to stay, despite boring election campaigns, and lousy Cable T.V., and expensive Gas (Actually in Australia Gas is much more expensive) So I try to balance my roots, with my adopted home.