Another lesson

[Thunderbolt]

I'm sure stuff like this has happened and been posted about hundreds of times, but it's a first for me.

I was doing some last-minute Christmas shopping (kilted) at a large outdoor store and I walk in and was met by the greeter (male):

Greeter: "Good morning, welcome to...hey, what do you wear under that?"[big grin]

Me: I stopped looked him right in the face and said "Why would you want to know?"

Greeter: No longer smiling, now stammering: Uh....well, um...I don't...um [sheepish laugh]...

He now appears the color of a beet and looks like he about to run.

I say "Have a nice day." and walk off to do my shopping.

I giggled for about a half hour over that one.


Thunderbolt

[Nighthawk]

[Cynthia]

Ha! I bet he thinks twice before asking something like that again!

[chasem]

I have mixed opinions on responses like that. On one hand, it gets frustrating hearing the questions all the time and that shuts people up. But to that person, we may be the only kilted people they see in their life, and that kind of response may make them feel like people in kilts are jerks.

[Cynthia]

The other side of that is, how is it appropriate to ask anyone what they're wearing under their clothing?

I mean, it's one thing to be interested in the kilt and if you're wanting to get one, to find out HOW to wear it. It's quite another to blurt out loud to a stranger "hey! What are you wearing under that thing?"

I think Thunderbolt's simple question back is a polite way of saying "that's really an inappropriate thing to ask". Especially if done in a non-venomous, surprised way.

Sure, stay calm. Be polite. But you still have the right to educate people by letting them know that really isn't proper to go around asking or or lifting someone's clothing.

To me, that doesn't make the kilt wearer out to be a meanie to protect their rights for privacy. If the person asking that thinks that, they're the one with the issue.

[Thunderbolt]

I have mixed opinions on responses like that. On one hand, it gets frustrating hearing the questions all the time and that shuts people up. But to that person, we may be the only kilted people they see in their life, and that kind of response may make them feel like people in kilts are jerks.

Or maybe it was appropriate to challange someone's rude question? See below.

The other side of that is, how is it appropriate to ask anyone what they're wearing under their clothing?

I mean, it's one thing to be interested in the kilt and if you're wanting to get one, to find out HOW to wear it. It's quite another to blurt out loud to a stranger "hey! What are you wearing under that thing?"

I think Thunderbolt's simple question back is a polite way of saying "that's really an inappropriate thing to ask". Especially if done in a non-venomous, surprised way.

Sure, stay calm. Be polite. But you still have the right to educate people by letting them know that really isn't proper to go around asking or or lifting someone's clothing.

To me, that doesn't make the kilt wearer out to be a meanie to protect their rights for privacy. If the person asking that thinks that, they're the one with the issue.

When I turned the table, so to speak, I had a half smile/half perplexed look on my face. Nothing overly assertive, I assure you. The fellow meant nothing wrong, but realized the error of his question almost as soon as he asked it.

Imagine if the question were asked of a female customer walking through the door in a skirt? Oh, boy. I would not want to be around for that.

But hey, I did tell him to have a nice day!

Thunderbolt

[Jack Daw]

Or maybe it was appropriate to challange someone's rude question? See below.



When I turned the table, so to speak, I had a half smile/half perplexed look on my face. Nothing overly assertive, I assure you. The fellow meant nothing wrong, but realized the error of his question almost as soon as he asked it.

Imagine if the question were asked of a female customer walking through the door in a skirt? Oh, boy. I would not want to be around for that.

But hey, I did tell him to have a nice day!

Thunderbolt

Sounds like you handled that just right.

[Cynthia]

Thunderbolt pretty much came back and said what I was going to say.

Yes, honest and sincere questions can be answered (as long as the person answering them feels up to it -- I still say one shouldn't ask about another's undergarments personally, but rather in general if they MUST know and not just a "because I'm curious" thing... maybe they want a kilt or have inherited one and don't know how to wear it... but y'know? Don't start with that question if that's the case!).

In this case, I also felt it was extremely inappropriate because this person is at their job, they are greeting, and they blurted out the question to a customer.

I also felt Thunderbolt's reply was just fine.

I don't have a problem with educating. I just also feel that the whole "look, a kilt, so I should be allowed to do/say/ask/etc whatever I want" also shouldn't be the logical jump. This was all new to me when I first got into it, although I was fortunate enough to have seen enough photos, TV shows and movies to know what a kilt was. I didn't feel the need to ask people what they wore under it... the internet gave me all the information I needed to know to figure that out anyway. My husband and I discussed the situations where he wouldn't go regimental (and sometimes we discuss them before each event to be sure).

[Buckskin]

The other side of that is, how is it appropriate to ask anyone what they're wearing under their clothing?

I mean, it's one thing to be interested in the kilt and if you're wanting to get one, to find out HOW to wear it. It's quite another to blurt out loud to a stranger "hey! What are you wearing under that thing?"

To me, that doesn't make the kilt wearer out to be a meanie to protect their rights for privacy. If the person asking that thinks that, they're the one with the issue.

I've had a few men I knew ask me the question, usually wearing a snicker, (not a smile, there is a difference.) My reply is: "I'm used to the women asking that, but NOT the men! I didn't know YOU went that way!!"

That leaves them speechless.

[Thunderbolt]

That's probably how he took it, Buckskin.

Good times....


T.