'Pipers, what do you say...

[piperdbh]

...when someone requests you to play for a funeral, either their own or someone else's? Do you respond, "Sure, I'd love to! I've been looking forward to it for years!", or, "I'll be glad to", or, something I've been thinking of lately, "It would be my sad honor to play for __________'s service." Of course it depends on the person asking, but what is the most common response?
A man with whom I rarely have a serious conversation asked me to play for his funeral and I told him to give me a couple of days' notice so I can get a sub at school.
A lady asked me to play for her husband's (for whom I had enormous respect) funeral and I wanted to say, "It will be a privilege", but that didn't sound quite right, even though she would have known what I meant.

I'm probably making more of an issue out of this that it really is, but I'm still curious. Thanks for your replies.

[george7]

I usually don't offer my feelings (i.e. tell them how I feel one way or the other about performing). A brief "my condolences" probably may pop up, but I don't think the bereaving is calling you for anything more than your services.

I don't think you're making a big deal out of it. Funerals call for the very highest level of etiquette.

[beloitpiper]

Just say you'll be honored.

[Spartan]

Just say you'll be honored.

Ditto

[wgority]

I'll be glad to assist you.

[vmac3205]

It would be an honor.....

[MacAngus]

Most times I don't say anything. I just ask where and when they want me to play,or what they want played.
I do have a weird little story though.
About 3 years ago i played for a gentleman Glasgow.
At his funeral was over his son came up to pay me and said he loved the way i played
flowers of the Forrest and said jokingly well my wife has your number and i want that played at my funeral.
4 days later the man was jogging in the cemetery and had a heart attack at his fathers grave .
Sure enough i was back playing flowers of the forrest a couple days later than his fathers. Anyone else have weird happenings go on? I don't wanna hijack the thread but some other pipers must have some stories like this.

[piperdbh]

Hijack away!
A few years back I played for a lady's funeral, and less than a year later I also played for her husband's funeral.
Once I was supposed to play graveside, but there was a torrential rain and the funeral directors opened the back doors to the chapel and I stood in the lobby to play. Another time it was too windy to go to the grave, so I played in that lobby, as well. Once I played for a young man who, after a series of life-shattering circumstances, had his life improve drastically and most of his problems solved. Evidently it was all too much to handle and he hanged himself from the limb of a tree in the front yard. Another gig was for a young man (23) who overdosed on heroin. The most emotional funeral I ever played was for my grandmother, 11 years ago in June. Her family (Lockhart) was the Scottish connection, and I proudly wore the tartan in her memory. I've played for one aunt, three uncles, and many other acquaintances, friends, and folks I've never met but just got a call from the funeral home. Some of them have been in 95 degree heat, once I had to stand in the cemetery for 45 minutes in a 16 degree snowstorm waiting for the service two end, and another time I had to go through 7 verses of "Amazing Grace" to cover the time to get the deceased from the church across the road to the cemetery.

Yes, I'd like to read your war stories about funerals, weddings and other gigs and the "interesting" things that have happened while 'piping.

[kypnkilt]

I usually try to show some compassion, but at the same time be subtle in my response. I usually respond by saying "I would be honored" or something along those lines. On another note, I usually refrain from playing at friends or family services. I did once and it didn't go well. In those cases I will find another piper I know to do the services.

[Kiltedfirepiper]

when my grandfather passed away in 03 I wasnt sure if I wanted to pipe.
well I brought my pipes with me anyways ( grandma already gave her blessings before the day of the service)
no kilt or anything. but any how I was sitting there listening to the service not really paying attention, just thinking about grandpa. when I realized I really DID want to pipe for him!
well they were getting ready for Military Honors as I "stood up" ( I say it that way because I was hunched down trying to get out of the pew) well I hurriedly walked out of the chappel and got my pipes together and went outside.
I wasnt playing for anyone but him so I wasnt trying to play for the service or be a part of it.
I waited till taps was played and struck in and played AG. played it twice through and cut out. I walked about 40' further out and struck in again, played going home, green hills ( slow) then finished up with danny boy ( his Fav.)

this is what was happening inside while I played.
taps finished, they just finished folding the flag and were about to hand it to my grandma when I struck in on AG ( the door to the chappel was open for the bugeler)
the presenter stopped, returned to his partner and "double checked " the flag to make sure is was perfect then as I finished playing handed it to grandma. couldnt have planned it better if we tried.
also happening was a family member who I had never met was stewing in the back of the chappel because I left right before the military honors. he was actually on his way outside to kick my a## at the end of the service when he saw my ( now wife/then GF ) running out to a guy holding pipes and bawling like a baby! then we had a few drams of scotch and all was good.

my dad told me that the sound of the pipes kind of slowly "floated" in and built up, then "floated away " at the end. I got even him teary eyed...and this is a man who up until my mom passed really didn't show emotion.

thats my story and I'm stickin to it

KFP