Kilt Etiquette

**Andy** · 14th April 09, 06:57 PM

This may be the wrong place to ask this, but I've had a nagging question on my mind ever since I attended a funeral this afternoon....

What is the etiquette for a wearing a kilt to such events as weddings, funerals, graduations, etc.? Is it customary to ask the host, bride or groom? Do you just "show up as is"?

Is there certain attire to wear to a funeral or wedding such as a jacket or tie along with the kilt?

I ask these questions because my wife asked if I would be wearing my kilt to the funeral. I opted not to so as not to create any bad situation or mis understanding with the family.

Just curious if there are ever any events where it is NOT ok to wear a kilt or some fashion there of....

**Sammac** · 14th April 09, 07:09 PM

I have been to funerals kilted, I wear black hose, my argyle jacket, and a plain green tie. Not to much tartan unless it is family. Then tartan tie and flashes.

**beloitpiper** · 14th April 09, 07:28 PM

It depends. If the event is for somebody else (graduation, wedding, etc.) ask the host or honoree. But in regular situations (dinner, going out, etc.) just wear the kilt!

**Highlander31** · 14th April 09, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by beloitpiper

It depends. If the event is for somebody else (graduation, wedding, etc.) ask the host or honoree. But in regular situations (dinner, going out, etc.) just wear the kilt!

I have gone to both funerals and weddings kilted. In the case of the weddings, I asked the bride first before going kilted. I didn't ask for the funeral. I wore a black Argyle with a white shirt, red tie (with small white dots) and black hose with my MacGregor of Cardney (AKA Hunting) kilt. If I were to wear a suit, it would have been my charcoal suit with the same tie and shirt.

Our number four child (we have seven) is getting married in August. His fiance has requested I wear a suit for the photos (she is of the mind set that kilts are for renfaires and the pub.) I agreed, however, I will be changing to a kilt and tweed jacket for the reception.

**Rex_Tremende** · 14th April 09, 07:38 PM

And what about those who have foresworn trousers? What would they ask, and of whom? Why should those who make their choice on a daily basis be under any greater obligation to seek permission from their hosts than those who made their choice on the day they sent their last pair of pants to charity?

So, maybe that's not a common situation, but in all seriousness, where do the scales tip? When one owns as many kilts as trousers? Three last good pair of slacks? One?

Why cannot men make up their own mind about what they might wear?

Regards,
Rex.

**TheBlueCow** · 14th April 09, 07:59 PM

Originally Posted by Rex_Tremende

And what about those who have foresworn trousers? What would they ask, and of whom? Why should those who make their choice on a daily basis be under any greater obligation to seek permission from their hosts than those who made their choice on the day they sent their last pair of pants to charity?

So, maybe that's not a common situation, but in all seriousness, where do the scales tip? When one owns as many kilts as trousers? Three last good pair of slacks? One?

Why cannot men make up their own mind about what they might wear?

Regards,
Rex.

Completely agreed.

However in a society where pants are expected on a man, then in certain social situations the kilt could indeed be a distraction that does not fit into the host's intended atmosphere. Hopefully our efforts as a kilt wearing community will increase the commonality and acceptance of the kilt, and indeed other options besides pants, as clothing for men that won't be a distraction that could lead to awkward situations - after all, as we all know, they're just kilts!

To the OP: I think that in delicate situations as funerals or anything that isn't simply casual, you just have to use your judgment. If the host knows you often wear kilts, then maybe it would not be a problem. But if the host themselves would be surprised and even possibly "weirded out", then you might wish to refrain from wearing a kilt

**Kilt_Noob** · 15th April 09, 02:36 AM

Originally Posted by TheBlueCow

Completely agreed.

However in a society where pants are expected on a man, then in certain social situations the kilt could indeed be a distraction that does not fit into the host's intended atmosphere. Hopefully our efforts as a kilt wearing community will increase the commonality and acceptance of the kilt, and indeed other options besides pants, as clothing for men that won't be a distraction that could lead to awkward situations - after all, as we all know, they're just kilts!

To the OP: I think that in delicate situations as funerals or anything that isn't simply casual, you just have to use your judgment. If the host knows you often wear kilts, then maybe it would not be a problem. But if the host themselves would be surprised and even possibly "weirded out", then you might wish to refrain from wearing a kilt

sums up what I feel about it too.Good luck.

**SteveB** · 14th April 09, 08:08 PM

There are posts by Jamie and Glenn on dressing up and down a kilted kit.

Like Rex, I wear the kilt everyday. It is my wardrobe, and how most people know me. If I ever obtained some trousers and went to a wedding, funeral, or other event in them, most of my family would be calling for the straitjacket!

For those that kilt on a less frequent basis, they should consider how they are known to the people around them. If you are quite comfortable in the kilt, and the wearing of it is not a self conscious endeavor, (IE it is natural to sweep your pleats when sitting, you do not need to think about how you bend) then the kilt is your natural state. It sure looks funny to others when you automatically sweep to sit when you are wearing trousers!

If the trousered life is the one you are best known with the people that you are mixing with, trousers may be the way to go.

This is an individual descision.

Good luck

**Highlander31** · 14th April 09, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by Rex_Tremende

And what about those who have foresworn trousers? What would they ask, and of whom? Why should those who make their choice on a daily basis be under any greater obligation to seek permission from their hosts than those who made their choice on the day they sent their last pair of pants to charity?

So, maybe that's not a common situation, but in all seriousness, where do the scales tip? When one owns as many kilts as trousers? Three last good pair of slacks? One?

Why cannot men make up their own mind about what they might wear?

Regards,
Rex.

Rex,

I agree with your viewpoint. As one who has defended our constitution and the rights outlined in it, I believe one should have the right to choose what they wear to a function. However, that being said, I believe that in the case of a wedding, one should ask the bride how she feels about a kilt at her wedding (it is after all her day.) For the record, the only bride who has asked I not wear a kilt was my soon to be daughter-in-law, and her reason was to have everyone look similar in the photos. I will be kilted at the reception.

For what it's worth, my wife disagrees with having to ask the bride what a guest can wear to the wedding. Her feeling is, if it is appropriate wear for the event then why not a kilt (of course she obviously has a leaning toward men in kilts.) I'm sure you can guess what she thinks about our soon to be daughter-in-law's opinion on kilts.

**george7** · 14th April 09, 08:40 PM

Most people who know me haven't seen me dressed up in trousers. I suggest only wearing a kilt to a wedding or funeral if you have all of the proper attire (proper hose, proper sporran, etc for situation). If you only have casual kilt accessories, perhaps you should go for trousers. Also, if that group doesn't know you as a kilter, you might prefer to introduce the kilt at another venue.