MHICE but no Hick's Boson

[Pleater]

From the desk of J Brown.
http://www.mnn.com/technology/research-innovations/stories/bird-foils-large-hadron-collider-from-destroying-us-all
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/13/science/space/13lhc.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1&em

There was a mighty bang which shocked the House at MHICE to the foundations, windows blew out and on the first floor papers flew as the office partitions were knocked from their stands, wheeled chairs collided as they appeared to be trying to escape. I saw them pass by as I sheltered beneath the desk and felt impacts all around me.

When I was sure that nothing more was incoming I climbed over the wreckage and onto a group of filing cabinets from which vantage point I could see that several months of careful restoration work on the East range had come to nothing. I could see through a hole in the wall and across to the Rotunda, which was smoking.

‘Ian? James?’ I called, knowing that two of my sons had been working in the computer room which was no longer there. My voice sounded strange in my ears – I touched my head and found that my hair was singed – my beret was missing, my hands shook – my whole body was trembling violently, then my legs buckled and I sank down onto the cabinets – which were rather hot where they touched my bare skin.

I heard a shout – incoherent to me, but I recognised Ian’s voice, and felt great relief to see that the two of them were emerging through the heap of materials piled up against the solid West wall, having forced the doors open.

In a fit of bravado I leapt from the cabinets – it probably saved me from a less dignified tumble, but I still ended up spread-eagled on a panel with my kilt apron over my face.

Fortunately I was soon restored to a semi upright position, and plonked down onto a chair with instructions to remain there until the shock wore off. James McFadden has a commanding personality, and as Ian had taken my pulse and found it to be close to 200 beats per minute I was not inclined to argue.
I found that I could not recall if there had been anyone else in the building – nor what time of day it was, nor even the day and date. I put that down to shock and closed my eyes to take several calming breaths – and felt the world alter.

This is fairly normal. We – those like me, are not so closely subject to the discontinuities of reality which go on, or off, from time to time.
I found that I was sitting at my desk, all as normal and that the partitions were once again in position but were now a pleasant shade of light gold rather than the light green they had been.

Ian and James were standing in the doorway.

‘What just happened?’

‘Madam Pleater and a sandwich.’ I replied.

‘What?’

‘That is what happened.’ I turned to the tray which still sat on the wing of the desk, and looked at the three sandwiches still remaining. ‘Salmon, with cucumber and – Madam needed a sandwich and took one of these – and then there was an explosion. It’s gone now.’

Information came to me, as it does.

‘It was those fellows at the Large Hadron Collider again.’ I rubbed my head, which was aching dreadfully. ‘They don’t seem to get the hang of the Big Bang Theory – the clue is in the title.‘

‘Oh the lets make a Hicks Boson experiment.’ Said James.

‘Exactly. There was something about everyone wearing kilts – as though that was unusual.’

‘Ah – Madam was really – upset – when she saw the Y wear pants forum. I was just looking, you know – I don’t think I’d really want to wear them, but it is quite interesting – just to read the historical threads.’ Ian said, rather apologetically.

‘When was that?’ I asked, trying to hang onto the bifurcation in realities.

‘About a week ago – six days maybe – ‘

I nodded.

‘Yes – that sounds about right – it is one of those constants – weird really – ‘

I fumbled with the mouse – my hand eye coordination seemed to be up the creek, but I found the interweb and on the second try, Googel turned up X marks.

I tried to access it – and was denied, just as for the last – however many days.
‘Let me try.’

I was abruptly aware of a feminine presence at my shoulder. Madam’s left hand docked with my right, and her slender fingertips guided the mouse, and clicked the left button. The screen altered to the familiar blue and gold tartan background and the usual forum titles appeared.
‘Ah good – its back.’ She sighed.

Her perfume – rose, bergamot, cinnamon, jasmine – and a couple of other things, wafted over me – her skin was glowing pink – a sure sign that she had been up to something.

‘James – would you bring your father some coffee – hot but not as strong as usual – I think he needs something restorative.’
‘Of course, Madam.’

He didn’t quite click his heels, but he thought about it.

‘Have you thought any more about my suggestion – ‘

‘I haven’t had time – it really needs careful consideration.’

She nodded.

‘Wouldn’t you miss – well – the unexpected?’

‘I am beginning to suspect that I might.’

There was a sparkling in the air and a figure some seven feet tall appeared. It wore black armour, kilt, and on the matt surface of the breastplate was a shiny circle with Department of Otherworld Security printed around it. His skin was a ginger colour, and a dandelion effect of mahogany coloured ringlets of hair was slightly disarranged by the head protector.

‘Now what?’ the apparition enquired.

‘Hick’s Boson again.’

‘Oh – right.’ He nodded, and twinkled away.

‘Nice to know that someone was paying attention.’ Madam said between gritted teeth.

‘So – was that – it – the end full stop –that bang?’

‘Good lord no – that was a bit of bread dropping into the big ring thing – nice sandwich by the way – what was the white stuff with the green bits?’

‘No idea.’

She went to where the sandwiches sat.

‘Hey – that Security fellow must have taken the other one!!’

‘Probably just as well. What’s left?’

‘Gentleman’s relish.’

She picked up the plate and handed it to me with a smile.

‘Right – well I have a lot of catching up to do.’

Humming a cheerful tune she bustled off along the corridor, her plaid and pleats swirling.

Ian reached over and took one of the sandwiches. I sighed and put down the plate.

'Oh - don't you want that one?'

James handed me a mug of hot coffee and snaffled the last sandwich.

[Bugbear]

Finally, something that makes sense around here.

Thank you Pleater.

[Wompet]

An ocean away, a body falls off a sofa with a lurch. Staggering to its hind feet, it shoots a dirty look at the cat which has somehow managed to stay planted on the sofa. Becoming more aware, its ears pull back and hackles raise as it senses something is ... not quite right.
Turning towards the fireplace, it waves a forepaw and growls an incantation. Something pops out of the flames and lands on the hearthstones. The dog looks at it, sniffing at the same time. It appears to be a half-eaten salmon, cucumber, and - what were those white things? - sandwich, with one of the corners ripped off. The faint scent of those particular, peculiar seasonings found only in the kitchens of the MHICE tickle his nose.
"Well, whatever it was, Pleater has taken care of it." Wompet woofed at the cat, who then mewled demandingly. The pair trotted into the kitchen, where Wompet placed the salmon in her dish as he munched on a cucumber. For some unknown reason, he tossed the bread out the kitchen door - it somehow seemed very important that the birds eat it.
Their snack finished, the pair returned to the sofa, where the cat glared indignantly at Wompet turned around three times before settling down. The two of them fell back asleep, secure in the knowledge that everything was right with the world ... for now.

[starbkjrus]

My my. I've never had my brain hurt after just reading two posts.

The formatting was particularly excruciating.

I'll have to try again...perhaps tomorrow.

[Bugbear]

My my. I've never had my brain hurt after just reading two posts.

The formatting was particularly excruciating.

I'll have to try again...perhaps tomorrow.

I found it comforting. I'm guessing... we don't live in the same world view.

[Standard]

Hmm... curiouser and curiouser. This is the way a good Heinlein would begin, I like it

[Larry124]

Many years from now the original post was replaced with that above…?

"I think it is safe to say that no one understands quantum mechanics. Do not keep saying to yourself, if you can possibly avoid it, ' But how can it be like that?' because you will go 'down the drain' into a blind alley from which nobody has yet escaped. Nobody knows how it can be like that."
--Richard Feynman

[Bugbear]

The ten-thousand-five-hundred-ninety-second Pleater is behind all of this.

Don't eat the sandwich! It has a miniature black hole in it; if you eat it, it will eat you...

[Standard]

Pleater, we are waiting for an update, don't leave us hanging any longer please.

[Pleater]

I was abruptly aware of a feminine presence at my shoulder. Madam’s left hand docked with my right, and her slender fingertips guided the mouse, and clicked the left button. The screen altered to the familiar blue and gold tartan background and the usual forum titles appeared.
‘Ah good – its back.’ She sighed.

Her perfume – rose, bergamot, cinnamon, jasmine – and a couple of other things, wafted over me – her skin was glowing pink – a sure sign that she had been up to something.

‘James – would you bring your father some coffee – hot but not as strong as usual – I think he needs something restorative.’
‘Of course, Madam.’

He didn’t quite click his heels, but he thought about it.

‘Have you thought any more about my suggestion – ‘

‘I haven’t had time – it really needs careful consideration.’

She nodded.

‘Wouldn’t you miss – well – the unexpected?’

‘I am beginning to suspect that I might.’