Wore trews on first date

**glasgow32** · 5th January 11, 10:23 AM

I had a date over the weekend with a girl I met on Eharmony. For two weeks we have been talking every night for 2-4 hours and I liked her a good bit. Sunday I drove two hours to meet her. It was cold so I wore my Seaforth Highlanders trews, a red cashmere sweater, white shirt with blue stripes and a solid navy tie. I was upfront about kilts and all, I joked that I would wear pants for the date. As soon as she say me it was over. She was so upset about the trews that it was very awkward for the rest of the day.

We talked on the phone last night and she told me that I looked "so gay" in "those pants" that she just could not stand it. She also added that her family, which came from Ireland originally would never except me for being a gay person for wearing those pants. She told me that if I had worn jeans then everything would have been fine.

Way to go Eharmony, thanks a lot.

**Jock Scot** · 5th January 11, 10:29 AM

Oh dear I am sorry about that. Some you win, some you loose and that is the way of life I am afraid. Get used to it!

**OftKilted** · 5th January 11, 10:53 AM

Sorry to hear that, next time just stick with the kilt.

Take a look at '1 Kilt 10 looks visual guide to formality.'

For Cold Weather Kilting I might recommend the X Marks article:
"Under the Kilt in Freezing Weather" with a little bit of searching, there are other articles that talk to cold weather kilting.

As at least one person has said on the forums: "97% of women surveyed like a man in a kilt"

And

**Spartan Tartan** · 5th January 11, 10:59 AM

I am sorry to hear that too...although I suppose it is best you found out right up front. If you enjoy the trews and she does not like them (and especially if her family has such dislike of them), it was bound to be a problem WHENEVER you would have decided to wear them.

Like Jock said, you win some...you loose some. You'll have better luck next time!

**llyd** · 5th January 11, 11:07 AM

Eh...how much intolerance would you really want to put up with anyway?
If they are that hung up on that one little thing...makes me wonder what else?

Sorry it didn't work..

**Lyle1** · 5th January 11, 12:07 PM

Originally Posted by Llwyd

Eh...how much intolerance would you really want to put up with anyway?
If they are that hung up on that one little thing...makes me wonder what else?

Sorry it didn't work..

I agree. Her reaction and comments went beyond rudeness to the realm of bigotry. I think the whole incident was less about your trews and more about your date's personal hang-ups.

**Tobus** · 5th January 11, 11:16 AM

Way to go Eharmony, thanks a lot.

Why are you blaming Eharmony? This isn't their fault.

To be quite honest, while I think she was a little harsh about it, her reaction is probably what you should expect from a lot of people. Tartan trews just aren't normal fare these days. Trews, sadly, have pretty much been resigned to a laughing stock among 99% of regular people, and are only seen being worn by certain Scotsmen who, for various reasons, will not wear a kilt but want to be traditional, and by those who parody the idea of "golfer's pants", and even by clowns as part of their costume. They are not mainstream attire.

While we all endeavour to be supportive of each other here (and I sympathize with you on account of her decidedly un-ladylike and vulgar words), I daresay that sometimes we forget that our own exuberance concerning "all things tartan" are not shared by everyone else, and that we should sometimes factor in the opposite viewpoint when making sartorial decisions. That, or grow extremely thick skin and a devil-may-care attitude about what others think. After all, we must be realists when we go out in the real world.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear your date went like it did. Maybe when dating people who aren't familiar with your manner of dress, it's better not to surprise them with out-of-the-ordinary outfits until they know you better? Or develop a more thorough screening process.

**Zardoz** · 5th January 11, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by Tobus

Why are you blaming Eharmony? This isn't their fault.

To be quite honest, while I think she was a little harsh about it, her reaction is probably what you should expect from a lot of people. Tartan trews just aren't normal fare these days. Trews, sadly, have pretty much been resigned to a laughing stock among 99% of regular people, and are only seen being worn by certain Scotsmen who, for various reasons, will not wear a kilt but want to be traditional, and by those who parody the idea of "golfer's pants", and even by clowns as part of their costume. They are not mainstream attire.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear your date went like it did. Maybe when dating people who aren't familiar with your manner of dress, it's better not to surprise them with out-of-the-ordinary outfits until they know you better? Or develop a more thorough screening process.

I tend to agree, if these were really military style (tighter fitting, highwaisted etc.) tartan trews, I'm not surprised that she was taken aback, and had some "issues".
You have to realize, that style is farther outside the the average citizen's experience than kilts are! They, or any plaid trousers to be honest, wouldn't be my first choice for a 1st date in any event. It sounds like the kilt would have been better, she already knew you wore one.

**piperdbh** · 5th January 11, 11:32 AM

It's kind of strange that she said you looked "gay" when you had gone to all that trouble to go on a date with her, a woman.

Better luck next time. And take pictures.

**Jock Scot** · 5th January 11, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by piperdbh

It's kind of strange that she said you looked "gay" when you had gone to all that trouble to go on a date with her, a woman.

Better luck next time. And take pictures.

I hope I don't get into trouble here and I mean absolutely no offence to any one, but if the original definition of "gay " was used it would have been quite apt really! Ho Hum!