too quick to criticize

[sailortats]

Folks, I am posting this in response to two ongoing threads. In one thread we have already lost a new member and in the other I think the person being discussed would have left by now if he was a member.
In the first thread the OP was taken to task for posting a somewhat derogatory comment about a contemporary way of wearing the kilt in the contemporary kilt thread. Let's think about that for a minute. He was a new member still feeling his way around the forum. Where else would he think
to post his comment, certainly not the traditional kilt forum or the DIY forum.
In the other thread we are being extremely critical of they way the person was dressed. We don't know the reason behind the way he dressed for that picture. If we knew that then the picture might be perfectly logical. Let's say the reason he dressed that way was to show some folks the wrong way of wearing the kilt. If that were the case then we would be complimenting him instead of condemning his taste in clothing. Or maybe he was copying the actual outfit of a beloved father or grandfather.
Please, let's all take a few minutes to think things out before jumping in with the criticism. We have been loosing good members recently due to harsh comments made before we have taken the time to think.
Sorry, I did not mean to get on my high horse. These comments are not directed at any one individual but to the forum members as a whole.

[Father Bill]

Your point is one that is well taken, and which we always need to keep in mind. Good for you, Phil!

[CMcG]

I apologize for contributing to scaring off the now ex-member with my comments on his "Kilt Suits" thread. In my defence, I did explicitly recognize that he was relatively new and tried to be constructive in my criticism. I suspect, however, that his departure had more to with his hope of finding like-minded people to join him in bashing kilt suits, which I took issue with...

Your point is well-taken sailortats that one can usually find a gentler way of saying things

[CDNSushi]

Thanks for the reminder. Your point is well made. In addition to which, I would say that in a Newbie introduction thread, posting messages that indicate disagreement with the OP's attire, e.g. "Welcome but.... I don't agree with your style" is rather inconsiderate and rude. I wouldn't dream of ever saying to somebody's face in person, (and if someone said that to me, the conversation would be a very short one) so it boggles the mind that it would be said online. That is all.

[MacEanruig]

Well said! We should never act in such a way that any member feels intimidated, especially such that they leave the group.

[Liam]

I try to only offer any suggestions or specific comments when they are asked for. We have sections of the forum that are for those seeking advice. Other sections including the introductory section are not the place to either seek or provide your personal opinions or suggestions.