Being asked THE question

**daithi1815** · 3rd March 15, 01:02 AM

Having recently been wearing my kilt to work on 'Casual Friday'. On the whole I enjoy the experience, I get a lot of positive adn admiring comments from colleagues and passesrs by - I even got a wolf whistle from a van driver !

.
However I'm getting rather fed up of constantly being asked the question as to what I'm wearing under my kilt - or if I'm a true Scot. At first I was able to laugh it off and give the stock answers of
'How warm are your hands and I'll let you find out'
'That's for me to know and you to wander'

But now that I'm getting the same questions from the same people, it's starting to wear a bit thin even to the extent of I'm considering not being kilted at work anymore. I was even told last week, 'I hope you're wearing underwear under that thing' to which I snapped back '.. and what if I asked about what underwear you are wearing today ?' a response which was met by a very red face and a stony silence.

I cannot understand what the fascination is as to what underwear I may (or in my case) or may not be wearing under my kilt. I don't usually get asked about my underwear preference so why should my kilted days be any different ?

Any tips or advice on how to handle this ?

**Jock Scot** · 3rd March 15, 02:23 AM

Part of me thinks that if you want to wear the kilt where it does stand out from the norm in London, or anywhere outwith Scotland really-------and lets face it, it does---- then frankly, we really should not be too surprised. To be fair, The Question does, rarely in my experience, get asked in Scotland too though. The other part of me goes: What the H*** has it got to do with anyone other than yourself and perhaps, your nearest and dearest. No one else. And, you are quite right, it is totally inappropriate for someone to ask anyone if they are wearing underwear.

As to giving you advice on how to handle the situation. Well, you seem to be doing pretty well and I really cannot add anything better.

**John_Carrick** · 3rd March 15, 03:13 AM

With respect to Jock, I get asked the question quite a bit in Scotland too, and even been subjected to a physical inspection in Dundee! I didn't object too much but imagine I had performed the same act on the lady - I would now be on a register.

**The Wizard of BC** · 3rd March 15, 03:13 AM

I'm going to respond but first I'm going to apologize for going on a bit of a rant.

I personally think that "The Question" is rude and offensive. If I were to ask the same question of a woman I could go to jail.

I personally gave up answering or trying to be cute or have a snappy response about five years ago after hearing if for the 10,000th time.

Today if I am asked by a woman I respond seriously with "Would it be appropriate if I asked you something like that?"
If I am asked by a man I do not respond at all. I simply look at him with a look that clearly implies I'm wondering if he is looking for a date.

I've been interviewed on TV and radio ten times. I always warn the interviewer before hand that I do not like being asked. I will tell them that I will respond only with "Shoes and Socks". Every one of them have been very understanding and supportive once they think about it for a moment.

I honestly believe that if we, the kilt wearers, continue to come up with quick, funny responses we are only perpetuating the asking of "The Question". We are turning it into a joke.
I think we should all grow up and realize that sexual harassment is real, that it is wrong, and can no longer be tolerated. No matter who it comes from, who it is directed towards, or the context.

OK, sorry, off my soapbox now.

**Techguy** · 3rd March 15, 03:31 AM

Good Morning,

It seems that this is the most frequently asked question, But if the question was asked to a female in reverse it would be a different story, Also it seems that people like tugging at the kilt and lifting it, Again do this to a female and you would be arrested, I was once told if you don't like the attention one should not wear the kilt. Go figure

Ken

**Jock Scot** · 3rd March 15, 04:16 AM

Steve is quite right that asking "The question" IS sexual harassment, and I think in most(?) countries that is the law, in black and white.

The problem comes with the grey areas! When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I have to admit that on more than one occasion I was delighted for certain young ladies to find out! I doubt that in some circumstances if older gentlemen wearing the kilt would deny a "lady" the opportunity either!

However, no should mean no. Not only from certain situations that females find themselves in but also from a male kilt wearers situation too and I think the policeman acted appropriately after the third no.

The problem is education, not only in what might, or might not be worn under the kilt, but also education in discretion and appropriateness of behaviour to fit a particular situation. I am afraid I am sounding like a real old fashioned stick in the mud here, but unless people in general understand the " acceptable behaviour" requirements of life , all the huffing, puffing and moralising from us all here will change absolutely nothing with the general public. Are we going to resort to the law every time the " The Question" is asked? Of course we aren't, we should in some cases perhaps, but in reality we are not going to. So, kilt wearers just have to handle the situation as best they can. There is really no other choice.

**Mikilt** · 3rd March 15, 07:00 AM

Originally Posted by Techguy

Good Morning,

It seems that this is the most frequently asked question, But if the question was asked to a female in reverse it would be a different story, Also it seems that people like tugging at the kilt and lifting it, Again do this to a female and you would be arrested, I was once told if you don't like the attention one should not wear the kilt. Go figure

Ken

Ken,
It's one thing to get attention when wearing the kilt. After all, it stands out. But being subjected to rude comments, questions and behavior is unacceptable. This stands irrespective of gender.

**Liam** · 3rd March 15, 08:16 AM

If it's a guy asking, my current reply is "why would YOU really want to know?"
If a female it is "are you?
I try to do both with a smile, and then put the person on ignore. It generally ends the discussion quickly.
I have also responded "is it really any of your business?"
If it is a friend or relative I tend to be a bit more polite, and may respond with "there is nothing worn, all is in perfect working order."

**RSHAW** · 3rd March 15, 08:46 AM

Unfortunately "comic, risque" tee shirts worn by some kilt wearers tend to encourage this behavior. Additionally, these situations seem to arise with the use of alcohol. It like the antics of the few impact kilt wearers who wear the kilt as a garment and not as a costume.

**Destin_scot** · 3rd March 15, 06:24 PM

What you choose to wear under your kilt is between you and your maker, and maybe significant other, but shouldn't be anybody elses concern. At a recent Mardi Gras ball, (advertised as Semi-Formal/Black Tie), as I was walking to the head, (loo or latrine), I had a woman stop me and grab her cell phone, (I was thinking she wanted one of her friends to take a picture of her with me), but then she started to grab my kilt and shove the phone under it to take a photo, I just turned and quickly walked away. She ended up chasing me around the party with her camera for another 15-20 minutes. Sad to say, but I called it an early evening because of that.

If I had shoved my cell phone under her cocktail dress to take a photo, I would probably have been in a fight with her SO, arrested, or required to undergo psychological counseling, or all of these. I asked a friend of mine if I had any kind of legal standing about it...he said that she could probably claim that a man wearing a kilt would be classified as an attractive nuisance.