Here's Your Sign

[skruse]

As a USDI-National Park Ranger you encounter many "Here Is Your Sign" questions.
1. Who mows the tundra? (Rocky Mountain)
2. Is all of the cave underground or is some of it on top? (Wind Cave)
3. Who planted all these trees?
4. When do the deer turn into elk?
5. When do the water falls get turned on?
6. When do they throw the burning bear off of Glacier Point? (Yosemite)
7. If I park outside and walk in, do I get a refund? (entrance station)
8. Do you ride the lifts? (On telemark skis. Response: Yes, they even let us wear clothes and take baths).
9. What do you wear under your kilt? Answer: Shoes and socks and the pride of Scotland.
10. (winter with deep snow). Is the road across the mountains open? Response: Yes but, this time of year you need skis or snowshoes.

[Carolina Kiltman]

One time I had an argument with a postal clerk, his supervisor, and her supervisor about not putting international postage on an envelope going to Taos NM. I won that one. My favourite came from a Jeopardy contestant a while back. She was a National Park Service guide in Washington, DC. Who stated that she was once asked how they got all the flags to point in the same direction at one of the monuments. Her answer, "It's a State Secret."

[Ozman1944]

I've got one;


"How long have you been in the U.S.? Say something in Australian" ()

[george7]

I've got one, When I was posted to Izmir, Turkey a lady at a restaurant in Georgia asked me if that's a far drive. And she was serious

Georgia shares a border with Turkey... just to the east. (Assuming no invasions today)

[sathor]

At the local :ong John Silvers, I was talking to my son using my Scottish accent. Mind you, my Scottish and British accents are near perfect, the flaws being some words I don't use that a Scotsman or Brit would use. And I have gone hours without breaking the accent once. I had a friend in collage from a class that was from Brittan, and he loved it when I would confuse people usig the accent. Anyways, so there I am in LJS talking to my son with the full Scottish accent, and the lady cleaning the tables looks at me and ask "Are you really from Ireland?" I have a feeling that had I been in a kilt, it wouldn't have helped.

I don't do Irish. Nor that Northeastern US accent. I can do Southern, but I can't do Northeastern.

How do you answer stupid questions?
Oh, you are going to Austria for vacation. Are you driving?


Any others?

[macwilkin]

As a USDI-National Park Ranger you encounter many "Here Is Your Sign" questions.
1. Who mows the tundra? (Rocky Mountain)
2. Is all of the cave underground or is some of it on top? (Wind Cave)
3. Who planted all these trees?
4. When do the deer turn into elk?
5. When do the water falls get turned on?
6. When do they throw the burning bear off of Glacier Point? (Yosemite)
7. If I park outside and walk in, do I get a refund? (entrance station)
8. Do you ride the lifts? (On telemark skis. Response: Yes, they even let us wear clothes and take baths).
9. What do you wear under your kilt? Answer: Shoes and socks and the pride of Scotland.
10. (winter with deep snow). Is the road across the mountains open? Response: Yes but, this time of year you need skis or snowshoes.

I can add a few of those from my time in NPS, but the number one is:

Why did they fight all of the battles in the Civil War in National Parks? (So the soldiers could hide behind the monuments!)

The other good one was when a tourist asked several of us at a living history event if that was a "real fire" we were standing around.

T.

[Cassidy]

I can add a few of those from my time in NPS, but the number one is:

Why did they fight all of the battles in the Civil War in National Parks? (So the soldiers could hide behind the monuments!)

The other good one was when a tourist asked several of us at a living history event if that was a "real fire" we were standing around.

T.

I worked at the Conner Prairie living history museum from the age of ten to seventeen, and heard the "is that a real fire" question more times than I can count. Not kids all the time, either- often it was adults.

My personal all time favorite was the mother who scolded her child fiercely for swatting at the flies in one of the houses, telling him quite seriously that we paid a lot of money to make the flies look real.

People, man, I'm telling you.

[Zardoz]

When we were on our cruise last year one of the directors gave me some examples of questions they get all the time;

1. Does the water go all the way around the island?
2. Do the crew sleep on the boat at night?
3. Do the elevators go to the front of the ship? (they tell them they only go to the '10 Forward Lounge', which cracks up the Star Trek fans)

[runewolf]

I worked at the Conner Prairie living history museum from the age of ten to seventeen, and heard the "is that a real fire" question more times than I can count. Not kids all the time, either- often it was adults.

My personal all time favorite was the mother who scolded her child fiercely for swatting at the flies in one of the houses, telling him quite seriously that we paid a lot of money to make the flies look real.

People, man, I'm telling you.

LOL, My wife and I work with Three Rivers Avian Center rehabilitating injured wild birds and helping out with some of the shows they do with their education birds (several hawks, owls and a golden eagle). Mind you, the shows are usually done in a state park and open to the public so we get all kinds of people there for "free" entertainment. So here we are wearing elkhide gloves for protection, the birds are looking around, some making noises and all have jesses attached to keep them from being able to hop or fly out into the crowd and people still ask "Are those real birds or robotic?"

[Jerry]

I have several that I can't remember right now, but here's one from last summer. I was driving home from my bowling league, when the thermostat stuck closed on my Dodge Dakota, causing it to overheat. I pulled off at the first spot I found which was wide enough to get completely off the road. Unfortunately it had no parking signs. I got out and opened the hood to see steal spraying out off the filler cap. I didn't want to risk ruining the engine, so I looked up the nearest tow company and called them on my cell phone. About 5 minutes later, a county deputy pulled in behind me. She walked up, looked at the steaming engine and said, truck overheat? My first thought was of some classic Bill Engvall comeback, "Like no, my engine dirty light came on and I thought I'd better stop and steam clean it, or I was hungry, so I thought I'd stop and steam some rice". But, I didn't want to push things, so I just said, yes. Then she said, well, you can't park here. I had other thoughts, but I just said, I called a tow truck and they said they would be here in about 15 minutes. She accepterd that and left. "Here's your sign".