Quote Originally Posted by Peter Crowe View Post

As to giving your seat to a lady on a bus, my dad customarily did that until the 1970's when he was one time fiercely rebuked by a pregnant lady for offering her his seat. For younger men such acts of chivalry can be viewed with the suspicion that you are 'coming on' to the lady concerned. However, if I see someone obviously struggling with something heavy, I will offer to help.
I'm very on-the-fence about teaching my little boy this style of manners for just the sort of reason above.

I was taught to hold the door (for men and women, and then a gent further back would pick up the duty as he reached the door), to let women pass in front, etc.

It grows harder and harder to continue these habits when you're either ignored as if you were a doorman (which is another terrible set of manners) or given the "evil eye" as if you were "up to something".

It's doubly frustrating to end up holding a busy door for what seems an eternity, while 'gentleman' after 'gentleman' walk on through, it never seeming to register with them that they could take up the duty.

In the end I'm sure I will continue to teach my son these manners, along with the knowledge that there's a time and place to set them aside (so as to not be a doormat)

ith: