I realize this is uncomfortable to share with strangers. But this is a very good reason to burn your trousers and wear a kilt. Or any type of MUG.

How to start?

Men, pull up a comfy chair and prepare your selves for the horror. Reading this, you will want to comfort your boys.

I am a fairly average man. I am infact, downright average in my male anatomy. In one part. Nothing to brag about. I am however, gifted with a rather large set of walnuts. (Even my doctor says so) Now, wearing pants has always been, well, a trying experience. Chafing, rash, blisters, heat rash, and living in the South, it's no picnic. I began walking bow legged. Doing anything, just a short walk even, hurt. I started noticing blood down there.

I ignored it for a long time, trying to "be a man about it." I figured all men go through this, at least all men who wear trousers. I suffered in silence. My wife noticed my discomfort though. Around the house, I simply did not wear pants.

I have worn boxer shorts for years, on the advice of several doctors a long time ago, to give me the extra room I need down stairs. This however, as I look back, a stupid move. Boxers? While wearing pants? BAH! Illogical.

The pain became unbearable and so one day I went to the doctor had to go through the embarassing experience of having my dangly bits checked out by a whole crowd of people.

I found out I have something called a "Scrotal Fissure." You know that little spot in jeans where all four seams meet and forms that little knob of fabric? Well, it had rubbed my skin down so badly that it created an ulcer that has not healed. I have stopped wearing pants... And have been wearing sweat pants and very very loose fitting shorts lately. Which I dislike. Wearing said pieces of clothing just somehow strikes me as trashy. It's nice for the gym, which I never go to, and it's nice around the house, but looks awful out in public.

What is a scrotal fissure? It's a hole in your scrotum. Mine is located in my scruttocks. That little patch of skin between your bum and your bits. Right there in the back where it connects. Several times a day I have to pull a contortionist's act and apply iodine, peroxide, alcohol, etc, since it's a hot sweaty delicate area that can get infections easily. It might heal someday, given the right conditions. I have found out I am not alone in this condition, that many men suffer the same affliction, and in severe cases, can cause a man to lose his male bits due to severe infections and necrosis of the flesh.

Men, don't let this be you. Burn your trousers. Torch your Wranglers. Incinerate your Levis. Toss your Dockers in the woodchipper.

I apologize in advance for any embarassment or uncomfortable feelings. But I had to share my story and speak out. There is a crisis, a quiet unknown crisis among men in the hot humid Southern USA. Something most men are to embarassed to talk about or even visit their doctor. And most men are not manly enough it seems to abandon their trousers to fix this problem.