It's time for my annual Viscose rant.

[Alan H]

You know that stuff that some people make kilts out of? ---that stuff made by Marton Mills?

It's called POLYESTER VISCOSE.

V - I - S - C - O - S - E

Here, say it out loud, quietly, while I read it to you. ~ vis-cose ~ Focus on the second half of the word. -VISCOSE

Not Polly Vicious
Not Poly Viscous , either. Motor oil is "viscous", as in "viscosity". In contrast, vinegar is less "viscous" than SAE 30 weight. Slimy. Gooey. Dribble-y.

Kilts are not viscous at all. Neither are they Slimy, Gooey, or Dribble-y. Kilts do not bite. Unlike parrots, they are most usually not named "Polly", though I do know of one named "Dierdre".

Polyester VISCOSE

Sometimes around here, us cool lads and lasses "in the know" shorten it to "PV" which in some circles would stand for "Puerto Vallarta", but around here it's P that stands for Poly (as in polyester) and V that stands for Viscose ( a synthetic fiber created by assaulting plain old cellulose with a vicious array of heat, chemical adjuvants and bad language).

Please, oh please, oh please train your spellcheck program to recognize this word! Thanks. Take comfort in the fact that I'll sleep better, not reading about your kilts made out of viscous material. Or vicious. NO kilt biting allowed. Thanks for saving me from that visual.

Look, vicious kilts are not proper daywear. That should end the matter, right there.