"The Ballad of How MacPherson Held the Floor", anyone?

Said President MacConnachie to Treasurer MacCall:
"We ought to have a piper for our next Saint Andrew's Ball.
Yon squakin' saxophone gives me the syncopated gripes.
I'm sick of jazz, I want to hear the skirling of the pipes."

It's been stuck in my head ever since someone on here mentioned it, so now I have a reason to recite it to random people on the street (hey, I'm an actor )