In my efforts in spreading the news of National Tartan Day, starting yesterday, I ran into a woman who was thoroughly disgusted by the prospect of people wearing kilts. She said, and I'll quote her, "Oh, no. Does this mean we're going to have to watch hordes of fair-weather faux Scots running about in Black Watch and Stewart? Christ, it'll be worse than St. Patrick's Day!"

What am I to do with people like this? And what, in God's name, is a FAUX Scot?!

I'm sure some of you would have nice snappy comebacks, but I had absolutely nothing at the time.