I have been considering this post for a long time, so I don't want this construed as a knee jerk reaction to Dana and Cavscout's problems with their wives. Finally the poor schlub with the e-bay auction (which may have just been a marketing ploy in all honesty) tipped the balance.

When I bought my first Utilikilt my wife thought I was an idiot (not surprising, she usually thinks I'm an idiot, I'm just her idiot). We actually had a talk about weather on not I would wear it, and I admit that I had some aprehension in that area as well. However, I decided that I wanted to try (I did have a tank at this point that I wore about 2-3 times a year), and I spent my money on it (more on this later). Well I got it, and imediatly got hooked. She still thought it was a little weird at first, but has never shown any reluctance at going out with me in it.

However, there are times when she does request me not to wear a kilt (of any kind, and I have 12 at the moment). There has yet to be a time when she has asked that I have refused, but at the same time there has never been a time that I wouldn't have worn a kilt had she not asked (most reciently to an evert where I was asked by 3 different people, "Where's the kilt?"). These times all involve her work (usually with doners - she is a fundraiser in the non profid world) and I think that she is afraid that people will judge her based on me.

So all in all I'm lucky that I have a fairly suportive wife. But I think back to when I first started wearing kilts on a regular (and now daily) basis, and had she said, "Not in my lifetime," I honestly think that my reaction would have been, "Well you know where the door is." I love my wife very much, but that kind of ultimatum (even over a kilt) is BS. A response of, "Please don't wear that around me," however would have been respected by me and I would have compromised, not wearing it around her, not talking about them. A comprmise never starts with, "Do what I say or else." and frankly if a marriage is on such shaky ground that wearing a kilt is the final straw, it probably something better off ended anyway.

Now, I do slightly understand Cavscout's explaining that money is a factor. Kilts are expensive. You notice that I said I spent my money on my first UK not house money. Money is always a factor in any marrage (unless you're stupidly rich), so I'd like to share how we work it out. Basically all money we earn goes to the house, and all bills are paid, and they we have budgeted an allowance for each of us (the same ammount). We can buy what ever we want with our money (technically if she wants crack and I want hookers - it's out money). Tipically she spends her money doing things (yoga class, dinner out with her friends), and I spend it buying things (kilts, DVD's, Pez - ok I'm a geek). I have to date bought (or recieved as gifts) all the kilts I have except for the Tank. She also usually buys clothing that is slightly extravagent (I mean does she really need another pair of $150 boots) herself.

Anyway, I guess my point is that a strong marriage can withstand real compromise, but if the compromise is, "My way or the highway," then you should take the highway.

Adam