Now a tale from the other side of the fence! A friend of mine has been making his own kilts for some years, together with outfits for his wife and nieces. Mind you, his father was a tailor and so he knew one end of a pair of pinking shears from the other; he knew all about fabrics and he understands the mysteries of The Sewing Machine!! After much pleading from me, my pal agreed to show me how a kilt was built from scratch and to guide me through the process of making one for myself.

I already had a modern sewing machine (but never mastered getting the tension correct!!) and had produced little more than a couple of pillow cases years previously. I bought the other tools as listed by my friend, and the necessary length, plus a bit, of poly-wool tartan fabric. We set to, he did all the measurements and I shaped the front apron before starting on forming the pleats. At that point, I was left to continue on my own, with pages of handwritten instructions, formulae, diagrams, calculations, etc., etc. After wrestling with all of that for at least two half-days, I ground to a halt. The mathematics skills required were way beyond my capabilities - especially when it came to calculating the tapering of the pleats from the hips to the waistband and, at the same time, keeping everything straight! My pal, who lived some distance away, tried talking me through it over the 'phone. To no avail. He even came over for another day-long session to help, but I got very little further forward. A week or so later when I called him to break the news that I was giving in, he casually dropped the statement into our conversation, "Oh well, of course, you do need to be both a mathematician and an engineer!" Now he tells me! But I believe I had already come to that conclusion, and I never was nor ever would be either. I spent hours on the basting stitches alone, and was told that they were truly professionally executed, but that's as far as it went.

A few months ago, I bought Barb's book thinking I would have another go at the project, but I just cannot bring myself to make a start - although it is a superb guide to The Art, and must be a gift to those with talent.

You will try, I know it, and I wish you all the luck in the world - which you probably will not need as I believe I am the only man on this planet to whom numbers, like computer operating, means absolutely nothing.