Well, apparently I don't even qualify for waiting tables, so I'm going to return to what I'm good at; being a spook.

More specifically, I'm applying as a Federal Air Marshal. Long flights, lots of travel and I get to shoot people. What more could you ask for? I sent in the application today and I've got my background check information completed, so I may be heading off into the wild blue yonder in a few months.

I had rather hoped to find a good job close to home so I could keep my animals and relax in the beautiful farmland with chickens following me around the yard, but I guess such is not to be.