I would suggest deeper pleats as a first step. A second would be to sew down the fell. It would stop the pleats from simply looking like gathers at the waist like the center back pleat on your blue denim looks. Mind you, I'm no expert, I've only made five kilts and a kilted miniskirt. I don't have Barb's book myself, although I would recommend it, as I learned what I did the hard way, by way of a few web sites and sitting down at my own sewing machine.

I'll also add my voice to those asking you to not take Hamish to heart, while he is a much respected member here, we need all the kiltmakers we can get in the world, especially those willing to learn.