I apologize if this is innap, I need to release steam

[JamieKerr]

I genuinely apologize if this thread is innapropriate. I had a particularly upsetting day at work today, and I just need to release some steam. Since I'm not really an established member of this site, I also apologize if any of you have a "who cares" type response. I simply wish to share this morning's experience with a group of people who may have experienced similar things.

Just a quick tidbit about me. I'm a 24 year old social worker. I'm what my friends describe as bi-gendered. Basically, I don't believe in traditional male roles or stereotyped dress. If I want to do something or wear something, I'll do what I like. Though, I will state, I do it with style and taste. That being said, I understand some people have a problem with it.

This morning I had a supervision meeting at Hospice. I typically have one every two weeks so that my supervisor can check in on what I've been doing with my clients, and we can work through any potential problems that may be going on. Well this morning I had my usual meeting, though my supervisor was clearly not as involved in what I was saying as she usually is. After we finished discussing what I had been doing during the past week, she told me we needed to discuss a problem. As it turns out, it had to do with my attire. Last Tuesday I had worn one of my kilts to team meeting. I've worn my kilts to work on several occasions previously, and ne'er heard anything but praise. Well as it turns out someone at that meeting was gravely offended by seeing a "kid" in a "skirt", and reported it to her supervisor who then spoke to my supervisor. In this individual's words; "If he can wear a skirt, I don't see why I can't wear jeans." Firstly, comparing a well made kilt to a pair of jeans is a rediculously inappropriate comparison. Secondly, how DARE she be so ignorant as to mock my choice of dress without even being able to properly identify it. And if that is how she chooses to treat a fellow coworker, I don't even what to THINK about how she talks to and treats her patients. We're supposed to help people and provide services to them while withholding our judgments about their cultures, decisions, and ways of living. Yet this person feels it is ok to lash out at someone who is different by comparing a beautiful traditional garment to a pair of jeans. Lastly. If this zealot, she doesn't like the idea of me in a "skirt" because it is non-traditional (kilts aren't traditional?), has a problem with me expressing my heritage then we need to make other prohibitions as well. I suppose I should mention that my agency is comprised of about 85% individuals from a highly conservative background. No more crucifixes for the chaplains. No more wearing of the Yamaka for anyone expressing their Jewish faith. No more prayer at team meetings. None of that. Any one of those things MIGHT offend one person somewhere. If you think your traditions are more important than mine, you're wrong. As it turns out, though, I'm not the only one stirring problems. We have a black female RN who started working here in October, and I just found out a number of people at the agency have a huge problem with that. I am so disgusted...

Lastly. I think I'm most hurt by the fact that though I don't know exactly who it was that complained, I know it was one of 4 people. And all of these people I had concerned professional, and I've always been very friendly with. This just seems to be characteristic of how people treat me. Polite and friendly to my face, and then talk about me behind their backs. As I was told, my supervisor has come to my defense on several other occasions where people were badmouthing me based on my appearance. I cannot say my appearance has no impact on my abilities as a social worker, my appearance has everything to do with my abilities. I relate to my clients like no one else is able, and they love me for it. My appearance makes people smile and brings them a little happiness

So tomorrow morning at team meeting it is very likely that the situation I was involved with will be discussed in depth. I guess leave it to a kilt to stir up problems, but then again, isn't that what we Scots do best?

End rant..