Request to wear kilt at funeral - but I don't want to!

[davedove]

Thanks for the comments and advice, gentlemen. I had a hectic morning and was running late, and ended up just putting on khaki trousers and a tattersal shirt. There were lots of people there wearing tie-dyed shirts, but for the majority of folks who wore regular clothes, they provided strips of tie-dyed fabric to wear as armbands. The widow was, understandably, a wreck, and the subject never came up about wearing a kilt or not. To be honest, I don't even know if she would have noticed it if I had.

I know I'm late coming into this thread and it's a done deal now, but I feel a need to comment. I'm glad it all worked out, but I feel you made the wrong decision. My answer is based on the way you stated your reasoning:

The problem is, I really don't want to. I just think it would be weird in this context. In my small rural Texas town, it would automatically make me the center of attention, and I don't think that's appropriate. Basically, my mindset is usually that funerals are not the place to dress in a manner where people will leave and talk about what you wore later, even if it's in a positive way. Plus, I don't even think I had ever worn the kilt around him, so it's not like he necessarily liked my kilt or even knew what it looked like. His widow has seen me in it, though, and thinks it's great (she's from England and has more appreciation for it than the locals would, I think).

This whole statement is about what YOU feel and what YOU believe about the situation and that was the wrong way to think about it. Your decision should have been based on HER desires.

Anyway, I sorry about the loss of your friend and anything I say is just my opinion.