One person's opinion

[Bob C]

Amazing the cheek of some people!

They are applying THEIR standards to your choices.

There's an old two word Anglo Saxon response to such intrusiveness and attempts to control your behaviors.

Exactly.

[Geoff Withnell]

If someone thinks wearing a kilt is a mid-life crisis, I recommend using the reply my wife gave an inlaw when they said my kilt wearing was a midlife crisis - "Well, if so, it's harmless and a lot cheaper and less trouble than a little red sports car and a mistress".

I think for men who take to wearing the kilt later in life it can be rather hard for friends (or spouses) to wrap their heads around the idea. It can be seen as, or sometimes is, a midlife crisis behavior. Friends and family alike may not know or, more to the point, understand a long-held desire to wear the kilt finally being actualized ... much less a new-found desire to do so. I don't know why you started wearing the kilt, but I'm assuming you haven't always (otherwise your friend wouldn't be making a big deal about it now). Perhaps explaining that might help. Whether it's "because I think kilts are cool and never had the nerve (or money) to own one until now" or "well, that's what we do here in the highlands" everyone has a reason.

[CDNSushi]

While I may agree with the thought that if a friend can't be honest with you, who can? It doesn't give carte blanche to act like a you-know-what either. People often forget what it's like to be on the receiving end of such BS. Don't ever mistake honesty with boorishness.

Perhaps you might consider asking your friend how he'd feel receiving the same note.

Don't like the pants thing. Feel like you are just trying to draw attention away from yourself, which seems self-depreciating and boring. Although maybe you just don't want to deal with leather straps. I dunno. I just find it embarrassing and lame. I am embarrassed to be with you. I don't like that. What is wrong with you? Can't you just man up and express yourself? So much wasted on looking like everyone else in the world, in my opinion.

Don't like the kilt thing. Feel like you are just trying to draw attention to yourself, which seems self indulgent and vain. Although maybe you just don't want to deal with buttons. I dunno. I just find it embarrassing and self-indulgent. I am embarrassed to be with you. I don't like that. What is wrong with you? Can't you just be a normal man? So much money wasted on such a stupid thing, in my opinion

Somehow I suspect that he would not take that very well either. The real question here is motive. What is the goal he is trying to accomplish, and why? Based on what I see, I'd say that he has some very real insecurities about how others perceive HIM in public, and is afraid that he might be labeled as <insert negative label here> because he feels that he will be judged by the company he keeps.

Be that as it may, his note to you makes it plainly obvious that he is either unable or unwilling to tackle his own demons. The fact that HE his embarrassed means that it's HIS problem -- NOT YOURS! The fact that he is transferring responsibility for his emotions onto you is incredibly immature at best and just simply cowardly at worst.

The question that YOU now have to ask yourself is, to what extent are you willing to abide HIS shortcomings and handicaps? It may or may not be possible; it may or may not be worth it. That is something only you can decide.

Analogously, I have a friend who was diagnosed with fairly debilitating OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) many years ago. We are still friends, but her boyfriend at the time left her. Not because he stopped caring for her as a result of the illness, but because his love had limitations and was not capable of dealing with the intricacies of the disease. I saw this in technicolor when we would go out for supper. It took her HOURS to get ready, to the restaurant, and back home, because everything had a ritual. She would literally turn the lights on and off ten times. Lock, unlock, re-lock the door several times... Touch certain things in certain ways... And if she forgot or got distracted, the routine would have to be repeated from the beginning. So what would normally be a two-hour outing turned into a four or five hour marathon. So while I was able and willing to put up with this on occasion, I could understand that it was too much for her boyfriend who had to deal with this every single day.

So ask yourself... Is this friendship important enough to abide your friend's weaknesses? If so, put on some trousers when you go out with him, and call it a day. (Although I would still try to get him to address his embarrassment and ability to deal with his feelings about how others perceive him). If it's not such a close friendship, bid this fellow adieu, find a friend who has better self-confidence, and get on with your life.

[bikercelt1]

You're not trying to draw attention to your self, self indulgent or vain. You're unique, just like everyone else!

Seriously though, we all have someone whose opinion we need to respect (or disregard as the case may be), but we don't need to own those opinions, they do. If you feel good about wearing a kilt stand proud and let your friend deal with his (?) own issues. The opinion is his. He'll come to terms with it or he won't and it won't have anything to do with you.

[English Bloke]

Their problem, not yours. They should deal with it or do one! Offer to buy them a Kilt, that should clinch it.

[Panache]

He says 'self-indulgent' like it's a bad thing...

Life is not a dress rehearsal. If a person doesn't indulge themselves now - just when are they supposed to do it?

Regards

Chas

Highland attire in everyday life certain does call attention to yourself

It is self indulgent

It is flashy

It stands out

It is a type of clothing that has a history

It makes a statement

It isn't the safe choice

It isn't the normal choice

It is different

It certainly isn't tan Dockers and polo shirt (or a t-shirt and jeans) worn like the vast majority of of other guys out there

In the end it is up to you to decide

You can either worry about being like everyone else....

or


You can be you!

Life is far too short not to live it!

Cheers

Jamie

[English Bloke]

Crackin' post CDNsushi

[kilted guys wife]

A true friend would have regard for you feelings as well as his own. He could have said "I don't get the kilt thing, and I feel awkward when you wear it around me." That would have addressed his issues without feeling like a personal attack.

[English Bloke]

A true friend would have regard for you feelings as well as his own. He could have said "I don't get the kilt thing, and I feel awkward when you wear it around me." That would have addressed his issues without feeling like a personal attack.

Some people lack the tact... oft' times me included.

[McElmurry]

If someone thinks wearing a kilt is a mid-life crisis, I recommend using the reply my wife gave an inlaw when they said my kilt wearing was a midlife crisis - "Well, if so, it's harmless and a lot cheaper and less trouble than a little red sports car and a mistress".

Why are you wearing a kilt?

Because my wife won't let me have a mistress!