Murphy, sorry, but these are clear signs of kiltaddiction.

There's no easy way to say this, but it's incurable, inoperable and often permanent. It will rob you of your money, take over your life, possibily lead to allcohole problems, but will provide great happiness while the kilt, any kilt, remains on your body and greatly increase your self-esteem and turn you into a person who doesn't give a monkeys' what other people think.

You will be assimilated, resistance is futile!