Originally Posted by
LitTrog
The only exercise machines that belong in a gym are the grunty, sweaty, stinky, organic ones. You're probably thinking of one of them 'health club' thingies. Oddly enough, that also happens to be the name of a new motivational truncheon I'm unveiling soon:
The Williams Health Klub
30 inches of stout hickory, perfectly balanced for those precision swats: Bacon from lips, cake from forks, fannies from sofas. Also included is the patented Pookey's Pudge Prod technology...developed by Taser (Nasdaq: TASR), the Health Klub provides that extra little 'get-up-and-go' to any recalcitrant workout partner.
Kilts are fine at my gym, BTW. I've even worked out in my undies.
Aye! Plus one! 
Got to hide those from my PT. I usually lay down on the bench and fall asleep.
I changed my signature. The old one was too ridiculous.
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