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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freelander
    Am I being overly cynical here?
    Sorry What I ment to write was that she was probably Well-meaning.

    Why should she be out to hurt Grahams feelings or worse try to scare him
    I think it's the Japanese that have this saying, "The nail that stands up gets hammered down."
    There are a lot of people that will make subtle comments designed to make you question your kilt wearing. Some of these comments are along the theme of this lady's question. They are the, "you look gay to me," comments. I've had them many times.
    They are nothing more than comments made to try to make you conform.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by bear@bearkilts.com
    I think it's the Japanese that have this saying, "The nail that stands up gets hammered down." There are a lot of people that will make subtle comments designed to make you question your kilt wearing.
    Bear has made a very good point here.

    I have been giving this topic some thought today...
    A friend once taught me that a good communicator is always concerned with the "take away", a term he used to describe the information the other party 'takes away' from a conversation. It can also be used to describe the the feeling one has after having a conversation with another person. A good communicator decides on what he wants the other party to derive or to 'take away' from a conversation, and then tailors his words accordingly.

    From what Graham described, he didn't appear to take away from this conversation a feeling of having been helped. To me, he seemed more uneasy with the situation than anything else. So, either the woman was a poor communicator, or else she said exactly what she had intended to say as evidenced by how he felt after the conversation. Since she had time to form her words before delivering them, and then while engaged in conversation with Graham didn't backpedal one bit, I am hesitant to give her the benefit of any doubt. At first I thought her warning could have been an ice-breaker, but since I cannot see where she managed to say much of anything else before scampering off, obviously it was not.

    Was she behaving insidiously? No. But I have to brand her advice as suspect.

    Mychael

  3. #13
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    Good point Bear.

    Mychael, at the time I had an inner feeling that she had some sort of agenda, maybe she was anti anti-"gays", she may have been lesbian herself, but no point in speculating.

    Were it not for this forum, I would laugh off a comment like that and forget it. You do analyse things well Mychael, I'm impressed.

    I only met one other jogger, a man who gave me an unusually friendly wave as he ran past.

    Well I'm fine being a nail standing up, but no one is going to hammer me down!! at least not with a supportive group of friends such as i have here at Xmarks!

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Graham
    Good point Bear.

    Mychael, at the time I had an inner feeling that she had some sort of agenda, maybe she was anti anti-"gays", she may have been lesbian herself, but no point in speculating.

    Were it not for this forum, I would laugh off a comment like that and forget it. You do analyse things well Mychael, I'm impressed.

    I only met one other jogger, a man who gave me an unusually friendly wave as he ran past.

    Well I'm fine being a nail standing up, but no one is going to hammer me down!! at least not with a supportive group of friends such as i have here at Xmarks!
    If one isn't aware of these comments, one might be affected by them and wonder about his kilt wearing. We must be aware that other might try to make us conform to what they would like us to be; the same as everyone else, someone who doesn't make them question their own opinions.
    Confidence in your own beliefs in being attacked. I always fight when someone tries to get me to alter my own beliefs.

  5. #15
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    Some people are just chronic "warners"; they believe it's their duty to think of a danger for any "non-mainstream" activity, whether it be kilt wearing or learning a foreign language. To them I reply, "only a dead fish goes with the current, and kites only soar against the wind"

  6. #16
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    Graham, this is only my two cents worth but, why should you give a rat's left whatzits what this lady said? She was either serious, or she was trying to get you wound up. In the first case, she could just be paranoid, and in the second a bigot. I tend not to listen to either of those demographics.

    Just shrug your shoulders and pity this person. These idiots we run into sometimes don't even know that they don't know.

  7. #17
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    hey graham, you said you just got a new USAK blackwatch. has USAK improved a lot in quality? i got mine about a year ago, and i was fine with it, but i spoke to rocky recently and he said that they had improved "leaps and bounds" since that time. any thoughts?

    (by the way, i got a casual kilt...i dont know which style yours is)

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Murphy
    Graham, this is only my two cents worth but, why should you give a rat's left whatzits what this lady said? She was either serious, or she was trying to get you wound up. In the first case, she could just be paranoid, and in the second a bigot. I tend not to listen to either of those demographics.

    Just shrug your shoulders and pity this person. These idiots we run into sometimes don't even know that they don't know.
    Murphy, you're right, I'm really not concerned about it, as I said earlier - were it not for this forum the issue would not see the light of day. However I did post it out of interest, and the response shows that it has been of some interest.
    If nothing else, it's a lesson in human nature

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by seamus
    hey graham, you said you just got a new USAK blackwatch. has USAK improved a lot in quality? i got mine about a year ago, and i was fine with it, but i spoke to rocky recently and he said that they had improved "leaps and bounds" since that time. any thoughts?

    (by the way, i got a casual kilt...i dont know which style yours is)
    seamus, my last two were "traditionals", 8 yards and beautifully made.

    I can't compare with their earlier kilts, I can say that I am very happy with their current efforts.
    You may get a better kilt elsewhere such as a hand-sewn worsted wool, but you will pay for it.

    These kilts are comfortable, tough, durable and affordable.
    I can't ask more than that.

  10. #20
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    thats good enough for me. though i dont know, i'd feel better getting a dress kilt after actually going to a shop and getting properly measured...i dont trust myself at all. but for sure if i get another casual it'll be USAK....rocky is a really great guy; you cant beat that customer service.

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