Widowhood and clanship

[ThistleDown]

If the normal course of events takes place then my dear wife will be faced with that exact question. She was born into a Clan, married into another Clan became a widow, re-married into another Clan and convention says that until she chooses to re-marry, then she will keep my surname and thus, she will wear my tartan, as a widow, if she chooses. However, there are, as far as I am aware, no hard and fast rules here and I do know of one widow that reverted back to her maiden name, as there were no children to consider.

Another example, Jock: my wife is Swiss, married into a clan, divorced from that clan, recovered her 'maiden' name, married into another clan (mine), retained her maiden name but took on all the other trappings and traditions of my family. If she chooses to marry again after my death she may, in Highland tradition, choose to retain her maiden name, take my name into her new marriage or take her new husband's name. I'm sure that's not confusing for you, but it will be for others, I'm equally sure.

The basis is that in Highland culture a woman is herself, first, and the wife of her husband second. On many an old stone we see such as "Mary Sutherland relict of William Munro, tenant at ...." Leaving out the 21C connotation of 'relict' this stone tells us that Mary, who lies here, was not only the wife of William Munro, a tenant farmer in the locale, but also a Sutherland.

[Jock Scot]

I recognise the situation well Rex, but in my experience these days---------all too many funerals to go to, when you get to a certain age for my liking!--------the ladies appear nearly always to keep their late husbands name. I don't know why as I have never discussed it, but I suspect it might be less confusing for the modern thinking grandchildren and less tiresome and probably less upsetting trying to explain it all to them.

[piperdbh]

The theoretical woman in question would be free to do whatver she wished clan-wise, but I would ask her, "Theoretical Woman, which clan has treated you as you would like to be treated?" Then I'd encourage her to go with that clan, if she wanted a clan affiliation.