WAGs and Kilt wearing

[Father Bill]

wãg², n. Facetious person, one given to jesting or practical jokes; (sl.) truant (esp. play~ or the~). Hence ~g’ery (4) n. ~ly² adv., ~g’ish-ness n., (-g-). [prob. f. prec.]

Concise Oxford English Dictionary.

[WillowEstate]

Hi Don,
hmm, sounds like you have a bit of an uphill struggle there but don't give up, time is a great healer. My Better Half was a bit sceptical when I started going to conferences in my kilt but, maybe, out of sight, out of mind. And the first time we went out together with me kilted, was a bit "stiff". It was to an Antiques show in the UK but a couple of positive comments from stallholders helped lighten the atmosphere.

Then there was an incident that brought home the "stand out" advantage. When we were selling out house in the UK, prior to coming here, there was an urgent call from our property lawyer that needed an answer that day - a day I happened to be at another technical conference. My BH phoned the venue and got through to the conference reception and explained the problem. They said they would try to find me but it would be hard among 300 delegates. That was until BH said I was wearing my kilt. The receptionist found me within 10 minutes and the lawyer issue was solved in time.

Since we moved down here, she's warmed to it a lot more. She sees the practical value of being able to wear it whatever the weather, cool in summer, warm when it gets chilly and the church she attends has a lot of Islanders in the congregation and most of the guys wear sarongs to church.

I think she was initially concerned at the reaction of other people but having seen that the vast majority take no notice and the ones that do have always been positive, she's relaxed about it. She still sometimes refers to it as "Sav's skirt" but now, that's just a tease we both laugh about!

So my advice is take it slowly, don't, whatever you do, make an issue out of it - any insecurity on your part will be seized upon in a heartbeat. Try a casual approach first, maybe a home BBQ, perhaps a trip to the coast or somewhere else you aren't likely to run across anyone you know.

Good luck!

[Elizabeth]

Maybe we could just trade spouses?

[BBNC]

I have the opposite problem. My significant other was instrumental in me purchasing and wearing my kilt. I'm having trouble getting her to pick out a tartan she would like to wear, although she may be showing some interest in Isle of Skye. She has Scottish ancestry through at least 3 different lines, but doesn't like any of their tartans.

[Panache]

Actually, we were at the National Folk Festival last
year and did a couple of dances together at the
"Chaotic Ceilidh" run by a mob from Sydney calling
themselves "Scotch on the Rocks"[1]

Don,

If your wife likes to dance and you like (or at least willing to) dance then you should look to see if you have an Royal Scottish Country Dance Society (RSCDS) classes near you. Scottish Country Dancing is a wonderful activity (and unlike highland dancing very, very little of it is done to the pipes). The music is wonderful, Scottish Country Dancers are very fine people to socialize with, dancing is very good for your health, and...


...it gives you an opportunity to wear your kilt with her once a week, have her see other fellows in kilts, all the while having great fun.


By positive association the kilt ceases to be a skirt for blokes and instead becomes a symbol of great times with great people.

Here is the society's website, take a look at the class locator and see if one might be an option

http://www.rscds.org

Cheers

Jamie

[Grizzly]

WAGs are Wives and Girlfriends. I know it as a soccer term... Or perhaps a sports term in general.

Jim is quite right, a WAG is an acronym for a wife and girlfriend. The term is mostly used in connection to sports stars other halves. Predominantly used for the partners of rich useless footballers (soccer) or more recently for the partners of the respective Ryder Cup teams (golf)

[RockyR]

My advice about this (and a good many other relationship issues) is as follows:

1) Be cool.
2) Have balls.

Don't look for her permission or approval to wear your kilt. Wear it with swagger and confidence. If she belittles you, tell her she wouldn't like it if you insulted things that were important to her. If this is a matter of culture, you can remind her about that also.

If you want her to associate kilts with manliness, it's important to act like a man. Don't act like a scared, insecure school girl who is desperate for her approval. If you go to a bar, ladies will likely flirt. This should drive the point home. Exude an "I look great and I know it" vibe and a healthy does of "I don't care if you agree" with it. Then you'll look like a "man in a kilt", not a "bloke in a skirt".

If she is generally a sour person who doesn't like the sports you like or the clothes you wear or your family members, you may need to ask deeper questions about your respective compatibility.

Remember: Confidence is the source of the sexy.

As I was reading the first page, the thought popped up in my head: Why are guys afraid of their wives / girlfriends? I think Nathan summed it up nicely above.

If you want to wear a kilt, WEAR it. If she says she doesn't like it, EXPLAIN to her how it's part of your heritage and that it's an outward expression of the heritage you're proud of. If that doesn't work, let her know that "she obviously doesn't care about things that are important to you" and wear it anyway (that guilt trip should push your agenda a bit further down the road as you're accusing her of being insensitive).

If she still complains, in a stern voice, tell her that you'll be "approving" her clothing from now on in the same way she seems to want to "approve" yours, then start telling her EXACTLY what you think of certain fashion choices she's made. You'll either end up wearing the kilt OR throwing it out along with a pile of her clothes.

Women are creatures, just like us. They are not to be feared and obeyed, but should be an equal partner in a relationship. Some people don't get that and it baffles me.

[Riverkilt]

Well, it ain't you....someone preprogrammed her to be "dubious/slightly hostile" towards kilts. You could ask her to think about where that opinion may have originated in the past....maybe her mother made a snide kilt comment....

As for changing her mind....humans are a difficult mammal to train....very difficult....

[Mike in Dayton]

A divorce solved my problem.

My ex-wife went ballistic when she found out I had an interest in kilts. For her kilt = skirt. From that point on every time she saw a kilt on TV or in some publication she made some negative comment about the person wearing it. I also recall her making comments long before the kilt came into question about wimpy men needing to wear skirts or something to that effect. We had a male dog that was somewhat of a wimp. She would comment about getting the dog a skirt. Also, she would not wear them herself other then when she worked in an office in her younger years when everyone had to dress up for work. She never wore them in a causal situation. Any comment I made about her only wearing skirts if men could only wear p@nt$ flew about as well as a potbelly stove.

So now when I take out a potential new girlfriend I bring up the kilts early in the relationship. If they have an issue with it then lets get that out on the table upfront. I was on a couple of dating sites for awhile (what a waste of time but is an off topic discussion of itself). I had a picture of me in a kilt on the site. This one lady made first contact with me on the site. She did not say anything about the kilt in the initial message. Thinking back she was more interested in meeting my dog rather than me. So we made arrangements to meet (which included the dog). I wore my kilt. It was the Earl of St. Andrews 8.5 yard kilt I made from 13-oz wool. When I arrived she said she was not surprised I wore my kilt. We talked about kilts and tartans. I was with her for over two hours that day. At the end she gave me her phone number. We departed and I was to call her the next night. The next morning when I woke up I had an email from her. The email came in a little after midnight. She gave me all kinds of grief about wearing that kilt. What happened? If she had an issue with the kilt she would not have given me her phone number. She must have talked to someone or found something on the internet that turned her against the kilt. I just responded that the kilt is not for everyone and wished her the best.

So if your WAG is on the fence about the kilt you may be able to change her mind or just wear it and she might tolerate it. I would suggest wearing only tartan traditional kilts and avoid the utility type kilts at first. If she grew up with the attitude that any garment that does not have legs is for women only or for sissy men then I don't think you are going to win. For you guys in a new relationship get the kilts out on the table up front so you can head off any potential problems later.

Good luck

[Father Bill]

Mike, you're lucky. She sounds really odd if not totally flaky.