The moment I get my first kilt I am going to BURN MY GOSH DARN TROUSERS! Ahem. Seriously. I am going to burn them and send them to Trouser Hell. Die die die you evil piece of fabric! Fie and shame on you, ye foul destroyer of men.

One day, I might heal. One day if I am lucky. But God as my witness, I will never go trousered again!