Is there such a thing as a woollen kilt WITH POCKETS?

[tripleblessed]

Ah – I don't wear tartan, having no ethnic claim thereto whatsoever.

Always helpful to remember tartan is much, MUCH older than Scotland, and widely spread across Europe and Asia.
Many tartans are not clan related or even Scotland related. Many are universal, and available to all. Take your pick. And there is a Finnish tartan, good if you like blue based tartans as much as I. Or design your own.

If you just don't like tartan, it's OK to say so, but if you do, enjoy any and all you choose.