The "Don of Fear"

[Guinness>water]

Wizard,
very nicely stated!


Benning Boy,
OUTFREAKINGSTANDING! Lead the way!

[KSmedic]

I just go all SAS on the world: Who Dares Wins.

Imagine yourself walking down a sidewalk, or through a mall or store. When someone looks you in the eye, do you look away, or do you meet their gaze and respond socially in some way? The confident person is the one who looked you in the eye. If you looked away, you let them dominate the interaction, you were submissive, not confident. If you were also confident you would have looked them in the eye as equals. When you're out in your kilt, control the situation. Swagger. Keep your head up. Be the first to look others in the eye. Never look away. Smile. Say hello. Fake it if you have too. Faked confidence soon morphs into real confidence.


A man in a kilt has less reason to be embarrassed than those grown men who happily put on calf-length baggy clown pants and think their tackiness is kewl, dude.

Speaking as one that already stands out (I'm the short, fire hydrant shaped guy with the shaved head.), I concur. Be you, always. Too many people in this world walk around staring at the toes of their shoes, hoping nobody notices them. I can't imagine a more boring, miserable existence. I work in a field that is most definitely NOT known for shy and retiring personalities (I'm a paramedic.), so in my world, standing out is highly desirable. when people see the tartan, they all KNOW it's a kilt, so the "Nice skirt!" comments are really just jealousy on the part of the speaker. They know they aren't confident enough to wear one. As Benning Boy said, faked confidence turns into the real thing pretty quickly. That's largely because there's no real difference between the two, as the only way to convincingly fake confidence is to actually BE confident, but that's another subject.

I'm also of strong Scottish descent, so I can understand the link to who you are that the kilt provides. That alone is reason enough to wear one. When I wear either of mine, I can feel myself standing a little taller and walking with more of a swagger. It's not unlike putting on my Marine Corps dress blues. It's not just about me anymore. There are a lot of clansmen that have my back when I'm in my tartan, and that's a powerful feeling.

[Sir Didymous]

I am generally very eccentric in terms of dress. Normally I am found in some form of reenactment attire, or when modern is called for, kilted. However as Father Bill said, I have found times when even the kilt can't fit the bill. As a minister, I find these times more often than I like. However the folks of the congregation have come to accept and even expect my eccentricity. I have since done sermons and even weddings kilted. Funerals, being more somber than all else, usually call for either vestments or the old stand by black suit. The truth is that the more you wear it, the more the people around you will accept it, and thus: the more comfortable you will be.

[Benning Boy]

Just home from yet another opportunity to test my confidence. The neighbors invited me to a cookout in celebration of their daughter's graduation. I'm retired, and by far the oldest in the neighborhood. The other adults all work, husbands and wives both, and have kids. Everybody does their own thing, so we don't get well acquainted.

Although I'm in a kilt a lot, I don't think anyone close by has ever seen me in one. Most of my yard has a high privacy fence around it, and when I leave the house I get into my car in the attached garage and drive away. If I see a neighbor I wave, but they can't see how I'm dressed.

So, tonight, after my earlier post, it was sorta put up or shut up time. I fearlessly donned a Dress Gordon kilt, a nice dress shirt and new Orvis waistcoat, and strolled across to the neighbor's. I stood out like a sore thumb, but ate it all up. I was better dressed than all but the honoree. Nearly everyone else was in jeans or sweats. The graduate's father was in clown pants. Little kids kept peeking around corners, not quite sure of what to make of the weird guy in a skirt. There were strangers there, co-workers of my neighbors, friends from elsewhere and family, people I've never seen before and likely will never see again. As I talked with neighbors I'm most acquainted with, I'd glance around and occasionally noticed people checking me out. Women didn't seem to be paying much attention at all. Hardly a glance. A couple of guys gave me that jealous, bitchy look women often show when contemptuous of another woman at a party or meeting -- or maybe they were just expressing disgust in general. Who cares. One gave me the full on "what's up with you, man" look. Regardless, I conducted myself like a gentleman amongst the fashion challenged, and felt not superior, but satisfied about it, that I had been once again the odd ball, but pulled it off well.

Don fearlessly your kilts, and go where you've not gone before. Return contented, and knowing you left behind a solid impression -- and don't worry what that impression might have been. It's your thing, do what you wanna do.

[thecompaqguy]

Well stated. I wear mine on special occasions, and after reading this thread, I may wear it more often, just because.

I'm going to wear mine more often this year too... I have so many kilts, I have to start wearing them more than just collecting them

[Elizabeth]

Interesting topic. I would love for my husband to wear a kilt, he is tall and slender and would look very nice in one. His excuse is that he is not Scottish but that is not the truth. The truth is that even though he doesn't appear to be shy to the outsider he really is. I think that the thought of drawing attention and the possibility that strangers will ask him questions is overwhelming to him.

This is the same man that wears shorts 10 months of the year and has a HUGE scar on one of his lower legs. hmmmm....

[KentuckyCeltophile]

It is defiantly a confidence thing, wear it around the house, then a quick trip to the store.

Yesterday, I actually put on the kilt with different shirts to see what I was comfortable with (Yes, I know it didn't happen without pics to prove it). It was comfortable, airy , and pretty cool. I like wearing it. I'll have to post pics later.

KC

[Benning Boy]

I would love for my husband to wear a kilt, he is tall and slender and would look very nice in one. His excuse is that he is not Scottish but that is not the truth. The truth is that even though he doesn't appear to be shy to the outsider he really is. I think that the thought of drawing attention and the possibility that strangers will ask him questions is overwhelming to him.

Elizabeth, When I was in high school I was a tall scrawny kid. I was pretty much an outcast, a nerd in the days before there were nerds. I had no interests in common with the others in my high school, and statistically was the smartest in my class. I was very insecure.

I got lucky, if you can call it luck, and when I enlisted in the Army at 18, got the chance to go to OCS, because the Army had a real shortage of junior Infantry officers in those days, and then to Ranger School, It gave me a real boost in confidence. The cool kids in my class,I came to see, weren't do-do compared to what I had accomplished.

Yet, as I progressed through life, there was a lot of that insecure kid still in me, we can never escape who we were, and I still didn't feel secure in a lot of ways. I came to deliberately put myself on the spot, to do things outside my comfort zone. All to build still greater confidence.


Politically, I used to say "Somebody ought to do something about that." Then I realized I was a somebody and I could do something about it. So, I ran for office. Got beat, but at least I did something. I've done things that would embarrass the socks off a normal human bean, but I've gained more solid confidence as I've progressed. I'm old, but still working on it. Once begun, it's something you can never quit. I don't know what to tell you about your husband, but you can inch him into it, if that's what you want.


You can't force him to wear a kilt, if you actually care for him, but you can help him with his insecurities. Work gradually through it. He is today, what he was before. Consider the foundation he is built upon. You need to get acquainted with that and come to understand why he feels uncomfortable in a kilt.


I'm not entirely Scottish either. I have a very rare-- even in Germany -- German family name. We are more rare than Whooping Cranes. However, I have a lot of Scotch ancestors, especially on my mother's side, and my most distant ancestor in North America came from the vicinity of Marton Mills in Yorkshire, so I can damned well wear a kilt if I please. It's America, we do our own thing.


Lead -- that's the key word, lead -- your husband outside his comfort zone, but once he's out, let him find his own way, don't push him. In time he'll become comfortable in a kilt, and you'll have the satisfaction of smiling knowingly when someone asks what's under it.

[thecompaqguy]

Today, a hot sunny day in London (rare as hen's teeth!) made me put on my Ramsay blue PV and Scotland football top (yeah, quite a cliche) and stroll outside to get something from the car, parked some distance down the road. Passed a couple, they said morning, I replied back. It's about confidence, I realise, just walk the same way you would in shorts. I think people either admire your confidence, or shake their heads but the only important opinion is your own

Yesterday in Piccadilly, central London, I saw a few guys walking around in Utility kilts, there were no gasps of disgust or people staring at them, so the fear is in our own minds

[thecompaqguy]

Much has been said about confidence. I've deliberately done things throughout my life where I risked embarrassment, or at the very least some sort of wise crack about my performance. It's helped build overall confidence. However the first time I wore a kilt outdoors, I chose to stroll through a nearby park that was little visited, just to get the feel of it. I didn't quite have the confidence yet to be that deviant. I asked myself, if a man in a kilt is a man and a half, what then is a man who is afraid to put on a kilt? I took the plunge. Now I wear a kilt whenever I feel like it, sometimes on very windy days. I've had my Marlyn Monroe moments. I just go all SAS on the world: Who Dares Wins.

Imagine yourself walking down a sidewalk, or through a mall or store. When someone looks you in the eye, do you look away, or do you meet their gaze and respond socially in some way? The confident person is the one who looked you in the eye. If you looked away, you let them dominate the interaction, you were submissive, not confident. If you were also confident you would have looked them in the eye as equals. When you're out in your kilt, control the situation. Swagger. Keep your head up. Be the first to look others in the eye. Never look away. Smile. Say hello. Fake it if you have too. Faked confidence soon morphs into real confidence.


A man in a kilt has less reason to be embarrassed than those grown men who happily put on calf-length baggy clown pants and think their tackiness is kewl, dude.

Excellent advice I think I'll wave at those who stare as well The baggy pants look seems to be ending, and 'brothas' have gone the other end of the spectrum, and are wearing skinny jeans
with skirt-like 'aprons' front and back