Assaulted for wearing a kilt last night

**TheOfficialBren** · 15th June 14, 09:47 PM

Similar situation to Nathan's. Once at a music-related event, kilted, a rather zesty female took it upon herself (she was sober, by the way) to get too close for comfort and ask very inappropriate questions. I was very annoyed and started asking rhe same questions. She was offended. I, in no uncertain terms, explained that sexual harassment is sexual harassment. The explanation that she was upholding a double standard made her even angrier. Ironically, it was in Hollywood, the political correctness capital of the world. :facepalm:

Other occasions have been pleasant and jovial. It's all about respect, approach, and intent.

I agree that lampooning the kilt has hurt more than helped.

**ASinclair** · 15th June 14, 09:54 PM

So let me get this straight. If I wear the kilt and go bar hopping (pub crawling?), I may be sexually harassed by drunken women? And this is a bad thing because? Why didn't I know this 40 years ago? Oh well.

**Manxstralian** · 15th June 14, 10:03 PM

Maybe it's a US thing, but this has never happened to me... I might get a comment, or "the question", but no one has ever dared to touch me inappropriately in public (in private is another matter

).
Also, in my opinion, sexual harassment is inappropriate questions or looks, but touching is sexual assault, and as far as I'm concerned assault begets assault. Realistically, most people are easily put in their place with a few well chosen words, and it never has been a problem for me.

Also because my default expression is a "determined scowl, like he's prepared to introduce you to the business end of his shoe if you look at him wrong.", I generally don't get hassled.

Cheers,

Cameron

**Aussie_Don** · 15th June 14, 10:03 PM

Originally Posted by ASinclair

So let me get this straight. If I wear the kilt and go bar hopping (pub crawling?), I may be sexually harassed by drunken women?

Probably a definite maybe.....

Originally Posted by ASinclair

And this is a bad thing because?

Depends on the proximity of SWMBO at the time.

Originally Posted by ASinclair

Why didn't I know this 40 years ago?

We live and learn

Originally Posted by ASinclair

Oh well.

Good luck -- if that's what you're after.

-Don

**ASinclair** · 15th June 14, 10:09 PM

Originally Posted by Aussie_Don

Probably a definite maybe.....

Depends on the proximity of SWMBO at the time.

We live and learn

Good luck -- if that's what you're after.

-Don

I have SWMBO (carolinanan117) permanently attached to me, so this was just an 'academic' question.

**TheOfficialBren** · 15th June 14, 10:57 PM

Allen, I was actually at a networking event where intoxication is looked down upon. All parties were entirely sober (I was having soft drinks, in fact).

No means no. Period.

**BBNC** · 16th June 14, 01:30 AM

Not having been in that situation, I can only surmise my SO would probably be amused, especially if the woman were tipsy.

On a more serious note, there does seem to be a double standard.

**BCAC** · 16th June 14, 02:28 AM

Originally Posted by ratspike

Glad you had a sense of humor about it. I've only had someone get physical like that with me once and my reaction was not pretty, not gentlemanly, and made it really clear that her invasion of my personal space would get ugly if she kept it up. Her justification was that by wearing a kilt, I was asking for it. I asked he how she'd feel if I grabbed her t*** and/or a**, because since she was wearing such a low cut top and short skirt she was asking for it. She didn't seem to get it.

I'm all about the playful and flirty and fun, but to go grabbing and pushing yourself on a stranger is unacceptable. If a man did that to a woman he'd be lucky to only find himself 86ed.

I'd agree with you if only I knew what 86ed meant!

**briansbarkery** · 16th June 14, 03:03 AM

Originally Posted by BCAC

I'd agree with you if only I knew what 86ed meant!

86ed means dead, killed, keel hauled or possibly he just meant banned from the establishment.

**Nathan** · 16th June 14, 05:19 AM

Originally Posted by Manxstralian

Maybe it's a US thing, but this has never happened to me...

I'm not from the US and it's happened to me plenty. Always in Irish pubs and usually it's all good natured. I don't care if someone looks at my bum for a laugh. I do give them the guilt trip about the double standards, but I do it with a smile. I've ended up having great chats and meeting fun people by not taking myself too seriously.

Besides, I'm not saying it's right, but it is different when the gender roles are reversed. Women have to deal with men who are usually bigger and stronger than them being far too aggressive with their come ons, especially when no other men are watching. They have to keep their guard up because this kind of behaviour is far too common. As a result, lifting a woman's skirt would not only compromise her modestly, it could legitimately make her fear for her safety leaving the establishment.

I partially blame the tendency of some young drunken pipers and soldiers to flash people as a response to "the question". This has conditioned some people to think that a kilted man will show his lack of underwear and his goods along with it with pride on command. Not cool.

All that said, while I don't care so much about a good natured peek at my cheeks, I do care if someone exposes my genitals to a room full of bystanders. That has happened and is a bridge too far. Not only does it violate my modestly and privacy, it subjects the others in the room to an eye full against their will.