Being asked THE question

[daithi1815]

Having recently been wearing my kilt to work on 'Casual Friday'. On the whole I enjoy the experience, I get a lot of positive adn admiring comments from colleagues and passesrs by - I even got a wolf whistle from a van driver ! .
However I'm getting rather fed up of constantly being asked the question as to what I'm wearing under my kilt - or if I'm a true Scot. At first I was able to laugh it off and give the stock answers of
'How warm are your hands and I'll let you find out'
'That's for me to know and you to wander'

But now that I'm getting the same questions from the same people, it's starting to wear a bit thin even to the extent of I'm considering not being kilted at work anymore. I was even told last week, 'I hope you're wearing underwear under that thing' to which I snapped back '.. and what if I asked about what underwear you are wearing today ?' a response which was met by a very red face and a stony silence.

I cannot understand what the fascination is as to what underwear I may (or in my case) or may not be wearing under my kilt. I don't usually get asked about my underwear preference so why should my kilted days be any different ?

Any tips or advice on how to handle this ?

[Jock Scot]

Part of me thinks that if you want to wear the kilt where it does stand out from the norm in London, or anywhere outwith Scotland really-------and lets face it, it does---- then frankly, we really should not be too surprised. To be fair, The Question does, rarely in my experience, get asked in Scotland too though. The other part of me goes: What the H*** has it got to do with anyone other than yourself and perhaps, your nearest and dearest. No one else. And, you are quite right, it is totally inappropriate for someone to ask anyone if they are wearing underwear.

As to giving you advice on how to handle the situation. Well, you seem to be doing pretty well and I really cannot add anything better.

[John_Carrick]

With respect to Jock, I get asked the question quite a bit in Scotland too, and even been subjected to a physical inspection in Dundee! I didn't object too much but imagine I had performed the same act on the lady - I would now be on a register.

[The Wizard of BC]

I'm going to respond but first I'm going to apologize for going on a bit of a rant.

I personally think that "The Question" is rude and offensive. If I were to ask the same question of a woman I could go to jail.

I personally gave up answering or trying to be cute or have a snappy response about five years ago after hearing if for the 10,000th time.

Today if I am asked by a woman I respond seriously with "Would it be appropriate if I asked you something like that?"
If I am asked by a man I do not respond at all. I simply look at him with a look that clearly implies I'm wondering if he is looking for a date.

I've been interviewed on TV and radio ten times. I always warn the interviewer before hand that I do not like being asked. I will tell them that I will respond only with "Shoes and Socks". Every one of them have been very understanding and supportive once they think about it for a moment.

I honestly believe that if we, the kilt wearers, continue to come up with quick, funny responses we are only perpetuating the asking of "The Question". We are turning it into a joke.
I think we should all grow up and realize that sexual harassment is real, that it is wrong, and can no longer be tolerated. No matter who it comes from, who it is directed towards, or the context.

OK, sorry, off my soapbox now.

[The Wizard of BC]

I guess I should repeat the story I told here about seven years ago.

I was attending a Kilt Night held at a pub in Vancouver. There were about six or seven of us in kilts.

Late in the evening a woman who had obviously been at the pub for a while approached three guys leaning against the bar.
She approached the first and asked if she could do a kilt check to see if The Question were true.
The guy laughed and said sure.
The lady reached up under his kilt and smiled.

She then approached the second guy with the same request. We all knew this guy was married and that his wife was in the room. The guy looked over at his wife and shrugged. The wife told the woman that if she were brave enough she could go ahead.

Finally the woman approached the third guy. She repeated her request. The guy said simply "No".
This seemed to amuse or perhaps arouse the woman and she began to become coy. She began to say Please, please over and over.
The guy simply responded "No" a second and third time.

The woman who by this time was standing directly in front of the third guy was pleading "Oh please, pretty please" and reached down to lift the apron of the guy.

As her hands came up the guy reached behind his back and produced a pair of handcuffs. He caught the wrists of the woman right about sporran level.

He then said in a very loud and clear voice. "Maam, I am a Vancouver Police Officer. I told you no three times. Do you not remember that no means no? You are under arrest for sexual harassment." He then took her away.

I got a report about 10 months later that the woman's case had come before a judge and that she had been convicted. She must now register as a convicted sex offender where ever she lives for the rest of her life.

[Techguy]

Good Morning,

It seems that this is the most frequently asked question, But if the question was asked to a female in reverse it would be a different story, Also it seems that people like tugging at the kilt and lifting it, Again do this to a female and you would be arrested, I was once told if you don't like the attention one should not wear the kilt. Go figure

Ken

[Jock Scot]

Steve is quite right that asking "The question" IS sexual harassment, and I think in most(?) countries that is the law, in black and white.

The problem comes with the grey areas! When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I have to admit that on more than one occasion I was delighted for certain young ladies to find out! I doubt that in some circumstances if older gentlemen wearing the kilt would deny a "lady" the opportunity either!

However, no should mean no. Not only from certain situations that females find themselves in but also from a male kilt wearers situation too and I think the policeman acted appropriately after the third no.

The problem is education, not only in what might, or might not be worn under the kilt, but also education in discretion and appropriateness of behaviour to fit a particular situation. I am afraid I am sounding like a real old fashioned stick in the mud here, but unless people in general understand the " acceptable behaviour" requirements of life , all the huffing, puffing and moralising from us all here will change absolutely nothing with the general public. Are we going to resort to the law every time the " The Question" is asked? Of course we aren't, we should in some cases perhaps, but in reality we are not going to. So, kilt wearers just have to handle the situation as best they can. There is really no other choice.

[Deil the Yin]

Wow! That is a really good story. Pretty scary ending, too, if you think about it in juxtaposition (I think I'm using that term correctly)...

[Nick Sweeney]

I had something like that happen at an Irish Pub I was at. Lady was blasted out of her gourd, mind you it was only 730ish, and as I was at the bar ordering drinks, she attempted to lift my kilt. At first I thought it was just someone passing by, but as I looked I saw it was her foot. At first I was a bit shocked, then I recovered and flipped my CO switch and laid into her. My wife didn't catch it all but knew I was serious when I ended with, "What the f#@k matter wit you, you stupid b$!@h!!" The bartender caught the last bit and asked what happened and told me that they were about to toss her out for acting stupid.

Had my wits been more about me I would have hit her with a threat of calling the cops for "Battery" or showed her my badge and threatened "Battery on a Law Enforcement Officer," as that is a felony. But alas, I did not, though I will use it next time it happens.

[Mikilt]

Good Morning,

It seems that this is the most frequently asked question, But if the question was asked to a female in reverse it would be a different story, Also it seems that people like tugging at the kilt and lifting it, Again do this to a female and you would be arrested, I was once told if you don't like the attention one should not wear the kilt. Go figure

Ken

Ken,
It's one thing to get attention when wearing the kilt. After all, it stands out. But being subjected to rude comments, questions and behavior is unacceptable. This stands irrespective of gender.