What to say to a woman with a husband not brave enough to wear a kilt?

[JohntheBiker]

I think that Father Bill is right on this.

We are a rare breed and that's a fact. Gents who wear kilts because they like to are indeed the exception, even amongst men who have kilts.

Most pipe band members would never wear a kilt outside of performances or competitions; soldiers in kilted regiments only wear the kilt in uniform; few wear kilts to highland games, even if they have them; even folks I know that own/work in kilt shops take them off before going home. Clearly, based on some of the postings here, there are some that have the desire but are timid. I would suggest that they are a subset of a subset of a subset.

[joek]

Too often people see in others what they fail to see in themselves. Could be the woman doesn't want her husband to wear one. Being an American and non Scotch or of any other kilt heritage when I first took to wearing kilts one item was what others thought. Bravery never into my mind. The comfort was what mattered. When I researched and found that males in countries that wore something other than pants full time did not get testicular cancer, that simply made it even more appealing. It seems the incidence of prostrate cancer also follows. Add in the comfort while driving, hiking etc. I think women should be encouraged to have their man wear kilts.

[Bill aka Mole]

davidpope, JohntheBiker and joek all seem to be in a similar frame of mind that I'm in. I didn't grow up in a Scottish family though we did have Scottish friends. Perhaps after 22 years in the US Navy, I'm used to wearing distinctive clothing. That doesn't explain a twelve year gap between my retirement and my first donning a kilt. I do wear it because it is comfortable more than anything else. My normal attire for work is p****s and a shirt which through the course of the day will become anywhere between slightly soiled to I can't wear this tomorrow. I don't feel anything towards the unknown gentleman but I certainly hope that my missus never talks about me in this manner either.

[Katia]

You know...

For some guys it's not a lack of bravery, it's just personal peference. We can't dismiss as "timid" all those who don't have the same taste as this online community.

That was my thought, as well as, "Just because she'd like him to wear one doesn't mean he's obligated to do so if it's not his personal style, so perhaps no comment or advice is necessary."

(Or, it's possible she was merely making an observation without wishing things were different, or even being snarky toward Bill-- it would all depend on her tone of voice.)

Most pipe band members would never wear a kilt outside of performances or competitions;

Yes. Most of my fellow band members and dancers come to gigs/competitions/performances in "regular" clothes, and change immediately after we're done. (I don't usually mind and find it easier to get ready at home than carry stuff/arrive early to get ready, unless I need to do something immediately before/after that would really make the uniform/dance outfit impractical, but to some people it's truly either not comfortable, or they think of it as a "costume" and wouldn't wear it outside of the proper situation.)

[OC Richard]

Most of my fellow band members and dancers come to gigs/competitions/performances in "regular" clothes, and change immediately after we're done. (I don't usually mind and find it easier to get ready at home than carry stuff/arrive early to get ready, unless I need to do something immediately before/after that would really make the uniform/dance outfit impractical, but to some people it's truly either not comfortable, or they think of it as a "costume" and wouldn't wear it outside of the proper situation.)

Yes that's what I've found with the vast majority of Pipe Band people, over my nearly 40 years playing in bands.

I've likened their attitude towards Highland Dress to the orchestral musicians' attitude towards their tuxedos: they call them "monkey suits" and wouldn't dream of wearing them as everyday dress. (I don't imagine that there's an orchestral version of this site, with people who self-identify as "fulltime tux wearers".)

BTW that's one of the many fascinating differences between our local Pipe Band situation, and the situation I saw in Scotland, when our band competed at three Games there. Here band people arrive separately and in their street clothes. Some dress in the parking lot, some walk around the Games in street clothes and dress at the Band Tent at the last possible moment.

At our first Games in Scotland we were amazed to see a vast number of coaches- 80 of them- pull up and each disgorge a complete fully-dressed Pipe Band. When in Rome, they say, and we did the same thing while there: we reported to the coach each morning in full kit.

It was interesting to note that same thing in the British "brass band" world, in the movie Brassed Off.

BTW for those not familiar with that movie, it's the best movie I've ever seen which ponders the question "what is the value of art?" Is music more important that playing your utility bill? Than your job? Than your marriage?

This beautiful and powerful scene shows sublime music being created by coal miners, at the very moment that the government is deciding to close their mine and throw them all out into the street.

Coming from coal mining country myself, and just last week being back home and seeing all the closed mines and unemployed people, and my grandfather being a miner who played euphonium in just such a band, this movie is very meaningful personally.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyzTgrOLNQw

[Chainsaw02]

I have read all the responses to the OP's post. And I agree with most but my original response to the lady's statement stands with me. I figure it should lead to either a lively discussion, and/or enlightenment on the lady's part, or worse, their abode being very quiet for a while. I have gotten very forward in my answer to most of the inane questions or statements that these people let out of their mouths. If there is genuine interest I will certainly engage in a civil discussion and try to enlighten as I can.

Larry Dirr

[Alan H]

Who knows? Without knowing the nature of their relationship, and whether the guy even owns a kilt or cares two bits about anything to do with kilts, it's hard to understand.

However, a good point has been raised here and I'm glad to see it. WE THE KILTED are not "better" or "More Manly" than guys who don't happen to wear kilts. There's no inherent virtue in a kilt. I'm wearing one, today. So what?

[ratspike]

However, a good point has been raised here and I'm glad to see it. WE THE KILTED are not "better" or "More Manly" than guys who don't happen to wear kilts. There's no inherent virtue in a kilt. I'm wearing one, today. So what?

This reminds me of the "no one cares that you tele" bumper stickers that I always thought were brilliant, even though I'm not a skier.

[Alan H]

Clearly I fit in, here, seeing as I actually know what "tele" stands for on that bumper sticker, and yes...a few years back, I DID.

Telemark, that is.

[Maritimer Gaen Awa]

I think it is important to note, if there is not a culture of kilt wearing either through visible organized groups, or informal social gatherings, it might be difficult to be motivated to wear a kilt. I talked a buddy into buying a kilt for my renewal of wedding vows. This started a reason to kilt up. Having a partner in crime makes it easier socially. We now search for opportunities to sport a kilt and other collegues have joined us. We take the attitude to cellibrate our Scottish heritage, to be out there. Find a buddy, start small, before you know it you will have a clan......