Your worst puns

[OC Richard]

Ones that I've made up in the moment...

One day at Pipe Band practice our Pipe Major was looking in his trunk and said "I can't find the bass drum sticks."

I asked

"Absence of mallets?"

The Pipe Major shot me a wry look.

Another day one of our pipers told me he'd left his pipes in the trunk of his car, worried because it was a hot day.

I asked

"Ceol beag?"

The piper laughed out loud. (It's a piping thing...)

[Mikilt]

My best friend is a chiropractor. He's always got my back.

[Mikilt]

Eating caribou gave me indigestion, so I took some Elkaseltzer.

[Tarheel]

Eating caribou gave me indigestion, so I took some Elkaseltzer.

O - I - 8 - 1 - 2. Just add space between start to finish.

[LANCER1562]

What seven letters did the little girl say when she looked into the refrigerator?




O-I-C-U-R-M-T

[Mikilt]

What did the mathematician's parrot say when it was hungry?

Polynomial

[Really a McQueen]

What did the mathematician say when she saw her parrot had escaped? . . . Polygon.

[Mikilt]

I could never be a monk because I'm cloisterphobic.

[Mikilt]

I roux the day I ate a bad bowl of chowder.

[Mikilt]

There once was a man who really liked sliced and fried potatoes and ate them every day for his midday meal.

He had the face that lunched a thousand chips.