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Thread: Your worst puns

  1. #301
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    A classical studies professor split his trousers and took them to a tailor to fix

    Euripides?

    Yes. Eumenides?
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  3. #302
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  5. #303
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mikilt View Post
    I saw my maths teacher at the beach. He was a tan gent.
    Sine of the times.
    If you are going to do it, do it in a kilt!

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  7. #304
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    A long time ago a maths teacher named Div could solve any problem with a mere glance. He Div-eyed it
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  9. #305
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    I was kicked out of maths class because of too many infractions.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  11. #306
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    A visiting Scotsman in Canada

    A Scotsman visits Canada for the first time. When he sees a strange looking animal pass by, he asks a local, "What was that?" The local guy tells him that it was a moose. The Scot's jaw drops to the floor as he exclaims, "That's a moose? Then I definitely don't want to see your rats!"

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  13. #307
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    If you see an open wardrobe, closet.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  15. #308
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    Today is a National holiday in the US. I remembered last night to shut off my morning wake-up alarm. Had I forgotten, it would have been a rude awakening, so to speak.

    If I slept in the buff, I'd have a nude awakening
    Being woken by a motorboat is an Evinrude awakening
    Kilted Lebowkskis have a dude awakeing
    After a bad trip, a quaalude awakening
    Attorneys have sued awakenings
    Peeping Toms have lewd awakenings
    Birds have brood awkenings
    Ghosts have booed awakenings
    Chefs have food awakenings
    Women in hairnets have snood awakenings
    Oil drillers have crude awakenings
    Newly captive animals have zooed awakenings
    Last edited by Mikilt; 24th November 16 at 08:12 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  17. #309
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mikilt View Post
    Today is a National holiday in the US. I remembered last night to shut off my morning wake-up alarm. Had I forgotten, it would have been a rude awakening, so to speak.

    If I slept in the buff, I'd have a nude awakening
    Being woken by a motorboat is an Evinrude awakening
    Kilted Lebowkskis have a dude awakeing
    After a bad trip, a quaalude awakening
    Attorneys have sued awakenings
    Peeping Toms have lewd awakenings
    Birds have brood awkenings
    Ghosts have booed awakenings
    Chefs have food awakenings
    Women in hairnets have snood awakenings
    Oil drillers have crude awakenings
    Newly captive animals have zooed awakenings
    Zymurgists have brewed awakenings

  18. The Following 2 Users say 'Aye' to ibrew4u For This Useful Post:


  19. #310
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    Quote Originally Posted by ibrew4u View Post
    Zymurgists have brewed awakenings
    Guys with tartan trousers have trewed awakening
    Cobblers have shoed awakening
    From 1901 to 1904, Picasso had a blued awakening
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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