Your worst puns

**ibrew4u** · 24th November 16, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by Mikilt

Today is a National holiday in the US. I remembered last night to shut off my morning wake-up alarm. Had I forgotten, it would have been a rude awakening, so to speak.

If I slept in the buff, I'd have a nude awakening
Being woken by a motorboat is an Evinrude awakening
Kilted Lebowkskis have a dude awakeing
After a bad trip, a quaalude awakening
Attorneys have sued awakenings
Peeping Toms have lewd awakenings
Birds have brood awkenings
Ghosts have booed awakenings
Chefs have food awakenings
Women in hairnets have snood awakenings
Oil drillers have crude awakenings
Newly captive animals have zooed awakenings

Zymurgists have brewed awakenings

**Mikilt** · 24th November 16, 03:48 PM

Originally Posted by ibrew4u

Zymurgists have brewed awakenings

Guys with tartan trousers have trewed awakening
Cobblers have shoed awakening
From 1901 to 1904, Picasso had a blued awakening

**Blupiper** · 8th December 16, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by Mikilt

Guys with tartan trousers have trewed awakening
Cobblers have shoed awakening
From 1901 to 1904, Picasso had a blued awakening

Didn't Sherlock Holmes used to have clued awakenings? And those chimney sweeps have flued awakenings.

JMB

**Mikilt** · 11th December 16, 03:54 PM

True story.

After a long night at a party, just to be nice, I offered my lady friend a foot massage. She accepted my offer and I gave her a nice foot massage.

I said, "I don't do this for everyone you know. Just for you because I rub you"

Facepalm. My pun earned a facepalm. I couldn't be prouder.