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Thread: Your worst puns

  1. #531
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    The musician went for a tumble after the replacement surgery. The Dr. checked, and confirmed there was no harmony.

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  3. #532
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    Hear about the grammarian with an ant farm?

    He was a pedant with a pet ant.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  5. #533
    Join Date
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    The churches made bets
    Over whose steeple was higher
    The measurer sweat
    He perspired per spire

    Your pardon I beg
    A hen, you can't boost her
    She won't lay more eggs
    Even if you roost her

    In a forest hidden
    His verse ran free
    The poet was sittin'
    'Neath the poet tree
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  7. #534
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    I got married on a whitewater tour. We lived happily ever rafter.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  9. #535
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    My father, an avid fisherman, taught me how to tie flies at an early age. Even after all these years, the hardest part is still lassoing the little buggers. I tried ice fishing once, but my catch melted as soon as I got it home.
    " Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly." - Mae West -

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  11. #536
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    Due to an equine virus the local rodeo only had two bucking broncos remaining, Sarge and Tim, for the three bareback riding finalists. So, Sarge bucked one and Timbuktu.

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  13. #537
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    Alaskans are proud to sponsor the world's toughest rodeo on Kodiak Island. It is said the bear back riding competition is fierce.
    " Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly." - Mae West -

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  15. #538
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    Advance apology because I'm terrible at these...

    The sentimental Highlander made a patchwork cloth kilt, and called it....

    ...a KwILT

    (At this point, I may be repeating one)
    Last edited by Profane James; 30th July 17 at 07:08 AM.
    "We are all connected...to each other, biologically; to the earth, chemically; to the universe, atomically...and that makes me smile." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

  16. #539
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    What do you call a tuber wearing glasses?

    *

    *

    *

    *

    *

    *
    A spec tater.

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  18. #540
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    Pasta in hell is served al Dante.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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