Your worst puns

[llyd]

I'll bet that was a day of wreckoning.

I am sure he was just crushed....his very existence just splintered...

[uncle remus]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger then it hit me

[MNlad]

When I was a wee lad, I thought that Halloween was scary, but then I gruesome.

[Mikilt]

I only see ghosts at night. They have yet to make a day-boo.

[MNlad]

I only run from ghosts when the spirit moves me.

[Mikilt]

The church janitor was also the organist. He had to mind his keys and pews.

[uncle remus]

two antennas met on a roof and fell in love and were married. the ceremony wasn't much but the reception was excellent.

[Mikilt]

I might study something at a school someone once told me about.

There's a degree of ambiguity.

[Mikilt]

Sorry, deleted.

Bad puns, but I decided some language was too crass and inappropriate for this forum. Apologies

[Mikilt]

Okay, a few


My overall problem
Is a hole in my pants
When an invasive species blossoms
You can say, “Sup, plant?”
I had curry that was so spicy
It put me in a korma
Released from prison nicely
He was now a conformer
Travel, yes I do
Because all roads lead to roam
I went to see my guru
But he wasn't omm
I dreamed of hobbits in the shire
And was Tolkien in my sleep
When bird seed prices went higher
No one made a peep
There are seagulls on the seas
And bagels on the bay
There were drifts on the frieze
After it snowed today
Sometimes necklace makers
Can have beady eyes
After mowing an acre
A massage might be wise
By freezing rain I was hit
And it hurt like hail
The English herring was a little britt
The blind sailor had to brail
Fancy compression socks I wear
Because I am so vein
Little babies come by stork, I hear
Big ones come by crane
Doctors are often vexed
That radiation poisoning has no Curie
Sometimes Ozark-itects
Design homes in Missouri
The actor auditioned for the part
Because that’s the way he roles
We think 90 degrees North is too far
Because we took a pole
If I give you cucumbers to brine
Can we make a dill
The deaf mathematician signed
The drunk photo-artist took stills
The boxer never made it past training
But he talked about it
The weather is supposed to be raining
But today, I drought it
The encyclopedia volume was How to Jog
But was not for joggers
The woodsman’s past was prolog
He’d always be a logger
On the China coast, my livestock grazed
It’s where I kept Macaus
The divorcee was crazed
When her partner disavowed
He liked to walk on the morning grass
Every day, he’d dew it
Now this poem I’ll end at last
If I get…

tuit by michael_malone22, on Flickr