Resistance from Family and Friends

[Dreadbelly]

Same here Dread, same here.

Rob

They have forsaken the blood in their veins and have become mongrels in the true sense of the word. In their ignorance, they have become nothing of consequence.

I try not to hate them. I do pity them. They do not wish to remember the past because they feel it is worthless to them.

A kilt can be a visual sign of the acceptance of your heritage. And for some people, this can be a very bitter pill to swallow. For my mother, and a lot of my close family, some of her brothers and sisters and such, they reject their white blood completely. They hate white people, even though they claim otherwise. They want nothing, and I mean NOTHING to do with that part of their bloodline. The Sicilians in my family on my mother's father's side treated them worse than dogs because they were half breeds. They were made to eat from a different table. (Outside) They were raised with open contempt. Every hour of every day my grandfather and his children were reminded that they were a source of endless shame to the family. He was a bitter man. He was a raging alcoholic because of the constant acidic remarks about him, his wife, and his children. And most of them have a slow simmering hatred of white folk... And see my kilt as a sign of Caucasian culture, which drives them absolutely batty. When one of my mother's brothers found out I wear a kilt, from what I understand, he was positively livid. Of course, there is nothing I could ever do to gain any real acceptance into my family... It is held against me that my mother got knocked up by "one of those filthy cockroach Cubans." Like it's my fault that it happened. But I am a visable reminder of the event. As a child, by these members of my family, I wasn't even called by my real name... I was called Cockroach. Ugh.

Mayhap I am stupid or something... But I fail to understand how a garmet could inspire so much hatred. And I still don't understand why I, or anybody else in my situation, should have to pay for their parent's mistakes.

Oh wow... This turned in to quite a post. Sorry if I poked any emotional buttons for anybody, but somehow this poked mine. Been digging up old bones lately, have a lot on my mind.

Anyhoo, if somebody in the family doesn't like it... They can do perverse and nearly impossible acts of sexual gratification with themselves.

Bah!

[motorman4life]

I have had a tartan kilt for many years that got "regular" wear about once or maybe twice a year for Highland games. I actually think I wore it 5 times in 6 years. I saw the UKs at a fair and thought they were expensive, but then I thought about how I had paid over $300 for the Geofrey tartan kilt that I wore more as an annual costume.

So, I went ahead and ordered a UK. While I was waiting for it, I decided to start wearing the tartan kilt out-and-about while running errands. I got a lot of good response. Many complementary comments and almost no negative feedback. Once the UK arrived, I wore it a couple of times and my girlfriend of 3 years gave me an odd look when I came out in it the first night as we were leaving to go out for dinner. I thought I was in a nice ensemble and she just rolled her eyes. She had only seen me in a kilt at the games. I figured this would mean trouble.

Anyhow, I started wearing it more and more and she would just roll her eyes. I figured if she had a problem with it, she would either say something or just let it go. This last Saturday, I took her with me looking for some suitable dress socks/hose that would come at least part way up my calf and maybe even stay up.. I was wearing the UK and some old tan suede work boots with tan raglan socks and a Hawaiian shirt.

She is somewhat conservative and was raised in North Carolina. She moved to California to get away from the “small-minded, uptight, judgmental people” she was raised around and now it seemed her upbringing had made her a bit judgmental herself. So, while we were looking for socks, she made a comment like, “Well, I guess if this makes you happy, I can’t complain.” I figured it was as good a time as any to get this out in the open and I asked her if there was a problem and she said she didn’t think the outfit looked good with the old boots. She said she thought the boots looked silly. In all honesty, I didn’t really have any other shoes that I thought would look decent with the kilt.. except maybe Army boots.

So, we went over to the shoe section and she pointed out some low-quarter height GBX shoes she liked. A bit chunky for my taste but, I tried them on and I thought they looked cool… in spite of the fact that it is not a shoe I would have considered previously. They sort of have a Doc Marten look and I’d never been into that style, but they looked really good with the kilt and new hose I had on. So.. I bought them and she smiled, took my hand and said, “Much better, that looks a lot better!”

I know she realizes that I’m really not going to change, for her or anyone else. I am who I am. She is going to either have to accept me as I am or move on. She knows that too. But, it is funny to think that she may have been rolling her eyes at the old suede boots (which I never did really like anyhow) all along.

[Rob Wright]

My mom's side of the family is interesting, I have a lot of traits from her father, my grandfather, and I've been known to drive them crAzy by pulling the same stuff on them that he did. They are deeply conservative basing their judgements on people largely based on politics I come in and raise hell and they can't wrap their brains around it. Boomp's would be proud, that's what we all called my grandfather. He was an only child who durting the depression would hang out with the hobo's at the train yards as a child. He rode a motorcycle and was welcome in most biker bars in Vallejo California. Was an engineer at Mare Island shipyard and built nuclear submarines. Did a stint in the army and helped hunt down Nazi's, at the time of his death some of what he did in Germany was still classified(Reminder, see if anything new as been declassified).

My dad's side, the Wright's and Douglas' love me wearing the kilt ,though some don't get the everyday wear part, a little too much Missouri Hillbilly in them I definately have the Douglas temper but I've learned to control myself very well. I at the point I don't care what the average person thinks. As long as I'm not making an **** out of myself.

Rob

[Archangel]

Me, I'm blessed, my mom, brothers and sister, wife and kids are more critical of my other clothes.

So here's the thing, my favourite philosopher, Musashi, says recognize what you are good at and apply those skills to everything you do. My family is harsher about some other stuff that I'm more sensitive about. What to do? Well, I stewed for years until a very supportive friend noted that I had decades of interest and asked if my critics were qualified to give a verdict. Well, no, they're not. I knew that as soon as the question was put that way. From there, I sought qualified assessment followed by qualified training. So now I'm getting pretty good at something I was told from childhood that I have no skill in. I'm still sensitive about it but I'm making progress.

What's my point? There's probably other things you do that have shocked or dismayed your family but they've learned to accept. Reflect on that progression and apply the same principles.

Another friend was telling me about getting a powder blue, polyester, bell-bottomed, wide lapel with some kind of fur trim suit in the early 70s - tailor made, yet!! And he wants to criticize me in a kilt? (Going a bit off topic here but, I've mentioned I collect photos of WW1 kilties, I have a photo of a Scottish POW who is the spitting image of this man, kilted and defiant. When he gets too much, I bring out the photo and show it to the others. It quiets him down for a while.)

[KMacT]

So, we went over to the shoe section and she pointed out some low-quarter height GBX shoes she liked... So.. I bought them and she smiled, took my hand and said, “Much better, that looks a lot better!”

All along you thought she had a problem with the kilt, but it turns out it was really your choice of footwear!

Kevin

[davedove]

All along you thought she had a problem with the kilt, but it turns out it was really your choice of footwear!

Well, any woman will tell you that men can't accessorize properly!;)

[Jerry]

I have no problem with my wife, in fact, she suggested that I get my first kilt. My daughter, however insists on calling my kilt "her dad's skirt". Who cares? If she gets too obnoxious about the kilt, I'll cut off the money for college.

[Archangel]

I have no problem with my wife, in fact, she suggested that I get my first kilt. My daughter, however insists on calling my kilt "her dad's skirt". Who cares? If she gets too obnoxious about the kilt, I'll cut off the money for college.

try this: go off the previous post, the accessories comment. plan your escape route first (one of you has to be somewhere in five minutes is good) and resolve to be academic. ask her calmly and point blank what it is that makes it look skirt like to her, ask in a real way what separates Mel and Liam, besides them being Mel and Liam, from looking like they're wearing a skirt. If she's like my daughter, and I think this is typical, the first two statements are telling, you'll get one shot at a detail question, and then it will be painfully sarcastic. Say nothing more. Do the dentist office thing until the clock strikes and get out quick.

Hopefully, she'll appreciate being consulted. You'll get some info to build on, I mean, what does the average guy know about fashion rules and packaging. if the plan works you can revisit the question for more details in a week or two. My daughter loves my kilts, the only real criticism I got from her was wearing a red tank top with my SK. Too pretty, what do I know? She hates my Hawaiian shirt collection but in my mind they're supposed to be tacky so fashion rules don't count. In a young woman's mind, fashion rules are tight and absolute over everything.

When my daughter was born, a friend told me I'll never have to pick my wardrobe again. He wasn't far off.

[jfellrath]

So, we went over to the shoe section and she pointed out some low-quarter height GBX shoes she liked. A bit chunky for my taste but, I tried them on and I thought they looked cool… in spite of the fact that it is not a shoe I would have considered previously. They sort of have a Doc Marten look and I’d never been into that style, but they looked really good with the kilt and new hose I had on. So.. I bought them and she smiled, took my hand and said, “Much better, that looks a lot better!”

Hmmm... I have an old pair of those kicking around somewhere, I think. I'm going to have to try them with the kilt... I never even considered them as possible kilt-wear!