Response to Comment.

[James]

Picking up from Derek's post, I notice that many appear to suggest an aggressive response when questioned as to whay they are wearing the kilt.

Now apart from a few drunks who can be ignored and chums trying to wind me up: I find it very hard if not impossible to think of anyone who has actually been questioning my wearing of the kilt in a rude way. Now I'm nearly seventy and been wearing the kilt all my life, so I can claim some slight experience, and not only here in the UK.

My experience being of people amazed at seeing the kilt-curious, and oft reacting out of friendly ignorance. Of course it would be easy on occasion for me to be annoyed-but what good does that do?

The aim being to leave them thinking in a positive way about the kilt and kilt wearers. For obvious reasons I mostly never meet them again. However the few repeat encounters have always been friendly-even to the extent of being reproved for not wearing my kilt on a trousered occasion!

Now I agree that it can be very satisfying to respond to a question with a barbed riposte-but that fails the basic aim: which is to leave the questioner with a positive attitude to the kilt and the kilt wearer.

James.

[billmcc]

Well said, James.

If kilt wearers don't present a positive image, the public could react negatively to anyone wearing a kilt.

[Doc Hudson]

It depends on the comment and the manner in which it is delivered.

Polite, curious, or bewildered questions or comments recieve polite or sometimes humorous responces (such as, "Didn't you know today is Kilt Day?). While rude or aggressive comments recieve responses in the same vein.

Personally I consider the comment Derek posted about as being rude, and that Derek responded in a far kinder manner than the woman deserved.

[davedove]

While I agree that some people just don't deserve it, I think we should err on the side of politeness. After all, we are the ambassadors of the kilt! Can't we rise above the masses and be gentlemen?

[macwilkin]

While I agree that some people just don't deserve it, I think we should err on the side of politeness. After all, we are the ambassadors of the kilt! Can't we rise above the masses and be gentlemen?

Hear, Hear Dave! I have always tried to take that route, although the snide comments can certainly be aggrivating at times.

American President Theodore Roosevelt once said "courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage."

Cheers,

Todd

[Mike n NC]

Didn't he also say "speak softly and carry a big stick"?

I do always try to be polite in my response to the comments and actions of others. Heck, I even apoligized to the guy that started a fight with me in Atlanta as I dragged him out of the way of my car.

Mike

[GMan]

Well said James, we are all gentlemen who wear the kilt!

[Ranald]

Picking up from Derek's post, I notice that many appear to suggest an aggressive response when questioned as to whay they are wearing the kilt.


My experience being of people amazed at seeing the kilt-curious, and oft reacting out of friendly ignorance. Of course it would be easy on occasion for me to be annoyed-but what good does that do?


Now I agree that it can be very satisfying to respond to a question with a barbed riposte-but that fails the basic aim: which is to leave the questioner with a positive attitude to the kilt and the kilt wearer.

James.

James I agree with what you're saying here but it's a bit hard to respond so well to people shouting obscene language out of their cars at you.
For those that ask good intentions will always follow, but there are those that have no respect for others (I know you know what I mean living in London as I do) .
As many have said on this board respect is a two way street.
I know the answer here is to rise above it but I for one find that hard.

[Freedomlover]

As many have said on this board respect is a two way street.
I know the answer here is to rise above it but I for one find that hard.

It certainly can be hard. But since I am in fact better than any antagonist it is incumbent upon me to keep a tight reign on my responses. To do less is to descend to the level of the unwashed masses, and simply refuse.

[Archangel]

all the "art of war" philosophies are going to suggest the same things: preparation and not underestimating.
This is why this board is so valuable and why discussions about situations and reactions are important.
I've learned several good responses from these discussions which helps me deal with my own mood at the time. It is also good to confirm that my situation is not unique. I am not the only one singled out but there is a social pressure to conform to some standard: ha! And we all face that.
My favourite from here, which I have added to my arsenal, is asking the lady her name and then asking, "So, ____, why is it that you want that information?".
I think I share Dread's appearance so I'm perceived as an ambassador to grumpy, dour Scots, so anything towards polite seems to work. That works for me. I have no intention of being an ambassador of kilts to people who are insensitive or cannot mind their own business any more than I would be any other time or dress. I strongly resent those who would stamp out any vestige of somebody's cultural identity or freedom of choice.
Don't worry, I think I'm polite more often than not.