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Thread: I feel dirty

  1. #1
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    2nd February 06
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    I feel dirty

    My wife hosted a baby shower for one of her friends, and of course, I was kicked out of my own home. I rarely go to the bars in my town, but all my friends had something going on, and I thought that I could slip in a local watering hole and maybe catch a game on satellite TV. I wore my Stillwater Blackwatch heavyweight, and a decent button shirt with the usual fixin's.

    Now mind you, I live in a small town of about 30,000, and the majority of those at the bar know me, and what I do for a living (police officer).

    Crap on a stick! I wasn't there ten minutes, and I was being MOLESTED by several young lassies that I didn't know. The biggest question, of course was what was under the kilt. One was able to get the left thigh are up enough that she was convinced I had nothing on underneath, and she was right.

    I had one drunked lady trying to convince me that by flashing her bare breasts at me, I was obigated to do the same and show her something. After all the tugging and attempts to reveal the 'Irish secret', I took to sitting on my kilt apron to maintain my dignity. And this was a "good" bar. Many other women kept approaching for pictures, and to see if I really was in a kilt.

    Thank God all I was drinking was O'douls (whole different story) or otherwise, I would be in the Xmarks job search.

    Told my wife all about it when I got home, and she decided that maybe she should not have any more baby showers.

  2. #2
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    22nd September 04
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    It is a sad day for America when a police officer can be sexually molested in a public place and the perps get away with it.

  3. #3
    Graham's Avatar
    Graham is offline Oops, it seems this member needs to update their email address
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    Ah, this is the problem of kilt wearing, when the lasses flash themselves at me I just close my eyes and think of Scotland

  4. #4
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    In Nebraska, of all places! Thanks for a good laugh. This is one story that I think I'll keep from my wife.


  5. #5
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    29th July 05
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    Ah, now we see the other side of police harassment!

    The power of the kilt is an awsome thing, not to be underestimated!

  6. #6
    Southern Breeze's Avatar
    Southern Breeze is offline Oops, it seems this member needs to update their email address
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    Great story, it gives new meaning to police harassment. Don't be surprised if your wife buys you this kilt accessory:
    http://www.environmental-studies.de/

  7. #7
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    While I've never had that happen to me, I've been in enough bars to know that under ther right conditions, the potential is there. Great story!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Graham
    Ah, this is the problem of kilt wearing, when the lasses flash themselves at me I just close my eyes and think of Scotland
    You close your eyes?

    You can still think of Scotland with your eyes open, you know.

  9. #9
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    2nd October 04
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    And you're married Dog,

    Makes me wonder why every single man isn't kilted when he's looking for companionship....!? :confused:

    Ron
    Ol' Macdonald himself, a proud son of Skye and Cape Breton Island
    Lifetime Member STA. Two time winner of Utilikiltarian of the Month.
    "I'll have a kilt please, a nice hand sewn tartan, 16 ounce Strome. Oh, and a sporran on the side, with a strap please."

  10. #10
    Join Date
    7th December 05
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    Quote Originally Posted by Graham
    Ah, this is the problem of kilt wearing, when the lasses flash themselves at me I just close my eyes and think of Scotland
    Ben Nevis, Ben Nevis, Ben Nevis ....
    Uhmm, not working for me Graham


    CT - first laugh of the day though, Thanks.

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