The Way Children See Things!

**Southern Breeze** · 11th April 06, 06:14 PM

The Way Children See Things!

NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago".

OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now She's hitting the bottle."

MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4- year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."

"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.."

DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn .. and into the hole he gooooes."

SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear.

**Kilted KT** · 11th April 06, 06:32 PM

Only if everyone could view the world with a child's eyes...things would be some much easier...

**Southern Breeze** · 11th April 06, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by Kilted KT

Only if everyone could view the world with a child's eyes...things would be some much easier...

True. Being kilted helps...

**KiltedCodeWarrior** · 11th April 06, 06:49 PM

Great post SB! I find myself amazed at what my own little ones come up with. Tonight we were sitting in the living room and had the glass doors open to let in some fresh air. 2 of our cats took that as an invitation to sit down in front of them, laying close together, with their heads touching. Now one is a male and one a female. My 5 year old sees this and says "Oooh, they look like boyfriend and girlfriend!". Talk about growing up fast!

**UmAnOnion** · 11th April 06, 07:09 PM

SB ,
thanks for a good chuckle at the end of a semi-crappy day - gotta love when kids come up with stuff like this

**Verlyn** · 11th April 06, 07:41 PM

When we were moving off base to the house we had just bought when I left the Navy, my youngest son was 7 and was helping me move my tools to the house. The road wound by a creek that had a small park with a duck crossing sign. He looked at it each time we passed and got really quiet each time. Finally, on the 5th pass, he asked me, "Dad, how do the ducks know that's where they have to cross the road?"

**Kilted KT** · 11th April 06, 08:02 PM

Originally Posted by Verlyn

When we were moving off base to the house we had just bought when I left the Navy, my youngest son was 7 and was helping me move my tools to the house. The road wound by a creek that had a small park with a duck crossing sign. He looked at it each time we passed and got really quiet each time. Finally, on the 5th pass, he asked me, "Dad, how do the ducks know that's where they have to cross the road?"

that has to be the just the most awesome feeling...knowing that they see things for what they are, untainted by society. Man I wish I could still think like that without being thrown in the loony bin...