Buy a kilt save a marriage

[weekilter]

For sale is a 44 inch waist, medium length, postal blue, Mocker model Utilikilt. This UK has only been worn once. The pleats are still crisp, and there are no stains nor blemishes that I can see.

The "postal blue" UK has been discontinued and is no longer available at retail. You are not likely to find another one. The tag says "L" as I called and they (UK) found this one on the rack in their shop. I paid to have it chopped to the medium length by them. IMPORTANT: Please see http://www.utilikilts.com for accurate size descriptions. I will NOT be accepting returns.

Unfortunately, my wife is an unholy sea hag. When I asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she said "Nothing.", I assumed that was what she wanted...nothing. So, I bought myself a kilt. Apparently, in Womanics, the term "nothing" can be translated as diamond earrings, a trip to the spa, or a duvet cover (like I even know what that is).

In closing, please buy my kilt. I'm tired of sleeping in the shed. The roof leaks and it's been cold. Maybe I'll use the money to buy her those damn earrings. Or maybe I'll just put a new roof on the shed. Squirrels make nice pets...

On Apr-12-06 at 09:24:31 PDT, seller added the following information:

AND NOW FOR A MESSAGE FROM THE SEA HAG:

Hello eBayers. I thought I would chime in with my side of the story.

When my husband told me he was buying a kilt, I was sure it was a joke. Being so close to Christmas and considering we had our children and others to buy gifts for, there was no way he would spend so much money on something so, well...stupid. I underestimated him.

I had convinced myself that he had actually used that money to buy me a gift (selfish, I know, but a girl can dream). It wasn't until I held this 65% poly, 35% cotton abomination in my hands did it dawn on me that I had, indeed, been hosed. You could smell the brimstone for miles.

Since we live in a small, conservative midwestern town, I warned him that he would probably be taunted mercilessly. I tried to change his mind about it. I thought the icing on the cake was when our daughter ran up to him with her Elmo camera and asked to take a picture of daddy in his "pretty dress". Still, he insisted on wearing his new pleated frock to his office. I was sure that would end in one of two ways: 1) He would be teased until he came home to change, or 2) His boss would take one look at him and ask him to leave. Surprisingly, neither happened.

Dear friends, this thing has been the bane of my existence since day one. My son and daughter can't quite understand why daddy has a skirt, and I've had to lie to people when asked about it. "Oh, he lost a bet", "He's in a band", "He's lost his mind". And to top it off, I swear the damn thing follows me. It seems like whenever I'm home alone, every time I turn around, there it is. Mocking me.

Bid well, bid often. Think of the children...and all the therapy they're going to need.


http://cgi.ebay.com/Buy-a-Utilikilt-...QQcmdZViewItem

[Robin]

At first...it's not my size...so I can't help you

Your post is a tragicomedy...both funny and sad....mostly sad.

I wish you all the best.

[possingk]

Below is my wife's response...
"I find it so hard to believe that a wife can be so unsupportive of a husband's decision to kilt up. Granted, I've made my fair share of 'wearing the pants in the family' comments, but even when financial times have been tough, I have supported my husband's kilt desires. The joy and pride on his face when he wears one of his kilts is enough to make me realize that it is as important as a new purse, pair of shoes or pair diamond earrings is to me. It's unfortunate that this gentleman couldn't read what 'nothing' meant, but it's even worse that because his wife didn't exress herself that he loses out on a nice garment."

[way2fractious]

...unholy sea hag... damn earrings... 65% poly, 35% cotton abomination... daddy in his "pretty dress"... his new pleated frock...

I really hate being "played" by eBayers. The Q&A's on the item continue the farce. The UK is probably real, but this "marriage" is undoubtedly fictional, and the sale of the kilt is likely to finance his latest purchase of a $500 paintball pistol. Gotta love eBay!

[Big Dave]

Okay....... ......

.......a little odd.....

.....or is it just me :confused: .

[toadinakilt]

Well, if he's lying, he's lying. And if he really needs to drop it, he really needs to drop it. Either way it's a kilt. If his wife IS really that unsupportive, though, then she hasn't seen Braveheart enough.

[Mattg]

Well, if buying a kilt put him in the shed I'd hate to think what calling his wife "an old sea hag" would do!

[toadinakilt]

Hmmm. Right...you know what? I think he's lying. Is the kilt reasonably priced?

[Nick]

I live in a conservative midwestern area...and no one has a problem with my kilt.

[ronstew]

Certainly the truth is being stretched. I wonder what kind of paint-ball gun you get for $500.

But, for the record, my father used to affectionately call my mother "The Old Dragon." They are still married and I think that 25 years later she still answers to Dragon.