Things Children Know

[Southern Breeze]

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a
4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Tampa, FL has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy

[JackK]

All from experience?

Jack

[Kilted KT]

Sounds like my house when I was growing up, only we didn't have ceiling fans. We had to improvise...using wooden shingles on a string. Same principle, though.

Oh, you forgot to mention:

1. A couch is a fantastic crash mat.

2. A 5 yr. old boy can find his way onto the refridgerator, and fly with his batman underroos and superman cape.

3. The word "MOOOOMMMMIIEEEEEEE" is a surefire sign that you either need to replace something very expensive, or go to the hospital to sew someone up.

4. Mashed potatoes dry hard in about five hours.

[mudd]

I am SO glad we had a Girl.

[KiltedCodeWarrior]

20.) The fire department in Tampa, FL has a 5-minute response time.

Being (until last year, and hopefully again soon) a resident of Tampa, I have to know the story behind this, what happened?

[Southern Breeze]

Being (until last year, and hopefully again soon) a resident of Tampa, I have to know the story behind this, what happened?

See number 2,4,8,9,11,12,16 and 19 on the list above.

[Shay]

I am SO glad we had a Girl.

Really? My girl decided to do a science experiment and put two eggs into a cookie tin next to the oven to see if they would hatch.

For the record- they did not.

[Angus MacSpey]

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

Not a properly disciplined 3-year-old boy's.

[Kilted KT]

All above items are increased in destructiveness by a factor of 10 for each friend he has over at the time.

[GlassMan]

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on

I know of one Arlington County, VA, adult who learned that the hard way too. When I was still with the ACFD, my engine company got dispatched to a kitchen fire in an apartment building. We got there and there was smoke coming out of the inside of a closed stove. Well, we turned off the stove, opened the door and quickly shot a fire extinguisher. Poof, fire out. Then we looked inside and there was a large box, charred to a crisp. As we pulled it out, you could barely make out "Microwave Popcorn" on it. At that point the husband said "That's where we put it!"

Apparently they had gone to Costco and bought lots of things in bulk but had run out of storage space. Since they hardly ever cooked, the hubbie decided to put the case of microwave popcorn into the oven. Then they thought they'd misplaced the entire thing somehow. On a whim, the wife decided to cook some of that food they'd purchased instead of eating out as was their norm. She had started the oven pre-heating without looking inside. That's when the gas oven caught the plastic, paper and solidified grease on fire.