Told NO!

[auld argonian]

Well, I think that it's wise to work this out...to paraphrase an old saying: a wife will get you through times of no kilts better than a kilt will get you through times of no wife...I am, however, sure that some of you who are convinced that kilts are the ultimate chick magnets will take exception to that.

Several things occur to me about your situation and they touch on my situation as well...so you're not alone in this.

One is how - shall we say - humble or grand is your outfit? A recent thread concerned one of our fellows who showed up in full Jacobean garb to an event and got the hammer dropped on him by his companion...I feel sorry for his trouble but perhaps his outfit was a little too much for the circumstances. I appreciate that a lot of the kilted brethren are Traditionalists but we are talking about a mode of dress that is firmly anchored in the Nineteenth Century...is it any wonder that the average person has to pause and digest it when they see someone in a kilt let alone in a full dress kilt outfit. I personally try to keep it looking like I'm wearing clothing appropriate to "today" but with a kilt instead of trousers...not easy but worth a try. I'm not out to attract attention and I REALLY don't want to spend any of my time explaining why I'm wearing a kilt let alone having some dimwit asking "the Question". I'm really going to try to match the level of dress to the occasion...can't show up looking like you're part of the entourage at the Opening of Parliament...I know that a lot of the gang love the way they look in their Prince Charlie jackets but the PC's look very formal to me and I could only wear one to a real formal event.

One of the things that I've encountered is that you will always run into someone who has had a couple of Psych 100 level courses that will assume that you have some deep seated craving for attention and that you are intentionally trying to upstage everyone else at the event...usually these folks resent the fact that you might be taking attention away from THEM, thus frustrating THEIR deep seated craving for attention...hey, it's a Hard Knock Life, y'know?

I figure that you can probably work the kilt into your wardrobe without undue criticism by planning to attend some events where it's a low key situation, take your dear wife and don't let it be a big deal. My logic is that if it's YOUR event then YOU should have the final word on what you're going to wear. Some kind of casual concert event like a Folk Music group or (if you're lucky) some good ol' Celtic Music...an afternoon concert by a chamber group or string quartet...like I say, low key. If anyone compliments you on the kilt (and they will) be brief and humble in your responses...demonstrate to the wife that you're not going to make a big deal out of it and she might get the message that this is not as much of a distraction as she thinks it is. This opens the door to your being able to wear it whenever you jolly well please.

Best

AA

[Riverkilt]

So sad to see such extreme problem solving in a marriage.

Don't know your wife, but on a general basis would suggest you negotiate if at all possible.

Ask to wear the kilt and ask her to observe the reactions and non-reactions of others.

Sounds like she's having deep fear of being embarrassed.

From what I've seen of the way people dress in Florida....well....a kilt would seem quite formal....

Ron

[Streetcar]

You know your wife and your relationship with her better than anyone on these boards do.

My advice as a married man - pick your battles.

Happy wife, happy life.....

[Monkey@Arms]

I can sympathize. While in a bad mood my wife accused me of wearing the kilt just to garner attention. Of course, that doesn't explain all the times I wear it at home. Sometimes its difficult marching to the beat of your own drummer. Appreciate all the advice being offered on the forum.

Best regards,

Jake

[Livingston]

Loads of good advise above. One thing I can think of, if you go to concerts like this more than once a decade, would be to suggest you will follow her wishes this time and then next time you get to wear the kilt with appropriate dress sporran, white shirt and Argyl jacket. The PC might be too dressy.

Just my 2 cents.

[toadinakilt]

Hmm, thank God for singleness...at least this is one battle I don't have to have anymore...until Miss Wonderful comes along, I'm good to go!

[Alan H]

My compromise on this is (was) that if it's "her" event.... like one of her orchestra concerts, or a dance concert, or a relatives party, or something we're doing on her bithday, something like that, then I usually didn't (and still somtimes don't) wear a kilt.

Now, this has changed slightly in the 18 months I've been trotting around in a kilt, and now I attend most of her concerts kilted, and recently went to her aunts 80th birthday in a kilt. But when I started, if an event was truly HER event or her families event, I put on pants. This was because she just wasn't used tome in a kilt, and thought it was kind of odd.

If it was "My" event...a celtic music concert, Highland Games, or a "joint event-low key" like a movie, I'd likely wear a kilt.

Now that 18 months has gone by and she sees that I'm not just doing this as a flash-in-the-pan fad, I'm going to most "special events" kilted. However, I still have no problem belting on pants if she asks me to. I mean, I wear a kilt probably 3/4's of the time, now, it won't KILL me to put on pants for an evening.

[pdcorlis]

Every person is different - every relationship is different. Maybe you can try a bit of kilt desensitization as others have suggested. As for me - I know that sometimes I just have to decide if I'd rather be happy or right.

Enjoy the concert!

[Blu (Ontario)]

.... The reason: We are there to enjoy the show, not to steal the spotlight...

This is such rubbish it's almost embarrassing. But it's the kind of silly nonsense that many members have had to swallow at one time or other. Whatever you choose to do... good luck.

[morrison]

Forego the kilt. Carry no thought of the occassion afterward. DO NOT remember that you did not wear the kilt. Rather, focus on the concert, your companions and the fun of it all. Do not pocket any ammunition, it makes searing charlie horses. It also distracts you away from clear thinking. You ought, however, make a noticeable hint of a specific dress or outfit for the wife at some future time while in the process of suiting yourself up into that excellent kilt. Sooner would be better. Most important, be sincere in your laughter and love your wife, starting now!