Quote Originally Posted by crboltz
Terms for same sex weddings are up in the air. I know, for lack of a better term, I was a brides maid in a dear friends wedding (in fact the only 2 females in the wedding party were the bride and the maid of honor -- as the bride put it "I don't get along with women") We are going with the statement that there are 2 groomsmen, 2 best men, and 2 ring bearers. We are toying with asking the spouces of the best men and the parents of the ring bearers to be ushers and ask our guests "Friend of the groom or friend of the groom?" But i'm not sure everyone will appreciate my sence of humor. There are a number of people coming who I said they want to come who I thought would be upset with the concept, and a bunch who will be shocked when we are all in kilts. So there will be enough 'angst' without my bad jokes all day.

BUT who knows.

Thanks again for all the advice I've gotten.
Yes, the terminology poses an interesting challenge. I guess we are fortunate in Norway, where each of the partners traditionally has a "forlover" (sorry, has nothing to do with a stand-in lover) which is a non-gender specific word meaning bridesmaid/best man.

I surprised quite a few at my wedding by having a female "forlover" ! It is certainly not usual, but the term is gender-free, and she is probably the friend who knows me best (naturally, it goes without saying she was not an ex...)

A lot of good advice given, but most importantly: it's your day, and if you want to get married kilted, then the two of you decide what you want, and don't worry about what old auntie Clare has to say