X Marks the Scot - An on-line community of kilt wearers.
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13th December 06, 09:00 AM
#11
 Originally Posted by Canadian_Kilt
... I have tried to explain to her what it means to me, but unfortunately I'm not great with words and I had a hard time explaining it. ...
It is doubted whether a man ever brings his faculties to bear with their full force on a subject until he writes upon it. -- Cicero
#include "std_not_a_therapist_disclaimer.h"
I included Cicero's quote because he's right. Whenever my ex-wife and I had "discussions", I became completely tongue-tied. As a result, I lost every time. This was not satisfactory for either of us really.
So, to you I say, write her a letter. Take your time. State your positions and reasons for them, state how her actions and words make you feel. Do not attack. You may not even need to have her read it, the act of writing may clarify your own thoughts sufficiently for you to put your case verbally.
Do not leave this difference unresolved. Now, before you are married, is the time to find out if you and she are capable of resolving your differences.
Others have suggested highland or Scottish heritage events as a method of "desensitizing" your fiancé. I could not disagree more. These events are outside the norm of day-to-day life and can easily be considered "costume" gatherings. Better methinks, is to get together with other kilties in real-world settings.
Five cents please.
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