I need some help with my family.

**Kilted KT** · 16th December 06, 11:03 PM

one thing you could do is direct them here...let them read up on what this 'kilt thing' is all about. Better to educate them as to what you are doing than just wear it and hope they accept it.

**Roan Carter** · 17th December 06, 01:12 AM

It comes down to a struggle of wills sometimes. My parents and I have argued about it. They'll want me to go to dinner, but in pants, and I'll tell them that I'd rather stay home. I'm sure there's a much gentler way of handling it, but I don't really know it. : / In the end I usually just do what I want, but I wear pants when I go out with my dad in places where he knows people.

You can't trade family in. Try to be gentle. Kilts are about family as much as heritage.

**David Dalglish** · 17th December 06, 01:20 AM

I agree with Kilted KT, ask your father to read this forum, he will see that there is others out there who like wearing the kilt. He will see that we have a wide range of people on the forum, who have a commom interest, ie wearing the kilt.

**katmills2005** · 17th December 06, 05:03 AM

You dad obviously has some concerns about something he doesn't fully understand. I think there is some good advice offered already. Inviting your parents to a kilted event like Burns night or invite them to come and read on this board may help them to understand.

Good luck.

**McMurdo** · 17th December 06, 05:43 AM

The only thing I can say is do your research, and present it to them in a thoughtful manner. I do have a few questions for you though, you say your dad gave you the "wrong image" talk what does he think that image is? Also I was wondering if it is a cultural thing, did your parents grow up with kilts around, if not this may be an uphill battle for you.

I think it would be a great idea to take them to a Burns Dinner or any other function where there will be kilts, I know its a few months away but Tartan day is in April, here is the link to the website

http://www.tartanday.org/

I think positive images, and articles may help sway them, just keep communications open with them and sooner or later they might just come around to your way of seeing things.

Good luck and keep us posted.

**Captain** · 17th December 06, 06:31 AM

The wrong image? I guess he's lucky you didn't grab a fake ID and get yourself some ink and a few piercings... Not that I know anyone who did that...

[rant]
I say unless your kid is doing something that actually harms them... let them where what they want! If they get made fun of... they'll either toughen up and not let it bother them, or become a sheeple and change their attire! It's just clothing for Pete's sake! I am so tired of the kilt being an issue in my life and I am truly sorry it's an issue in yours... I've heard people say to keep your priorities straight when dealing with family and friends who don't approve... but shouldn't they also keep their priorities straight??? An article of clothing, whether one likes it or not, is no reason to punish, remove favor from, or ostracize... it's just clothing!!!
[/rant]

Souzaphone... I feel your pain... how long until you're 18? I say wear it as much as you can (especially around the house) to desensitize them if nothing else... and just be patient... They'll either change, or you'll be old enough that they can't really tell you what to wear or how to wear it! Hang in there buddy!

**Improv1** · 17th December 06, 06:55 AM

I still find it hard to believe that, in today's society, wearing a kilt for casual occasions is such a big deal. Back when I was in school (sound of far-off violins playing) we were looked down upon for wearing our punk/new wave clothes, bondage pants, purple hair, or safety pin piercings. Today, you get waited on in restaurants by people dressed like this. Maybe after kilts have been around a few years (biting my cheek) they will become more socially accepted, but hopefully not mainstream. Judging from the growing numbers of kilted men out there, it's already happening.

Speaking as a father of five, communication is the key. Find a place or common activity that you both enjoy, and then bring the subject up for discussion. Ask open-ended questions to find out what he doesn't like about the situation, why he feels that way, what solution can you come up with that would satisfy both sides. If you are allowed to wear it to school without incident, then you can use that open the door to wearing it out more.

I wish you the best on this one, and feel free to have your Dad contact me to discuss this. If you PM me, I can give you my email.

**sirdaniel1975** · 17th December 06, 07:50 AM

Education! You have to educate your father without him knowing it. Be very subtle about it at first.

- Go to the highland games and video some of it, then watch it casually at home so that he sees some of it. Learn the origin of the games and how the modern strongman competitions relate to them.

- Obtain videos/dvd's that feature men in kilts and again, casually watch it so that he sees it. Public libraries usually have a few Scottish history videos on hand.

- You need to find friends who have kilts, and invite them over your house for a kilted gathering. Don't put your kilt on till the last minute... he he he he! This one is less subtle.

- Explain the health benefits of wearing a kilt.

- Learn all there is to know yourself.

- And if all this fails...wait till college... no one will care! Usually....

- You have to find ways to show how masculine a kilt really is... which is probably the real issue with your father. I doubt he sees it as being a male garmet. Which is an other point, he has to learn that a kilt is an article of clothing and not a costume.

- When your kilted, look your best. That means look neat and have your accessories on: sporran & sporran belt, kilt hoes, garter flashes, kilt belt, and maybe a kilt pin.

As a musician myself, I have a difficult time conforming to societies norms. As artists, we have a different outlook on life that few can understand. We tend to be more excepting of a person's own individuality and tend to create our own persona in life with ease. When it comes to a kilt, most folks have had years of bombardment, brainwashing, etc., to have a cookie cutter image of how things are supposed to be. Just look at the "restroom symbols" as an example. Your obviously an independent lad, be proud of that.

**souzaphone711** · 17th December 06, 08:32 AM

Thanks guys, it's nice to have a really supportive community to turn to when I need help. I think the first step I will be taking is to send him here. My parents are somewhat conservative and come from somewhat conservative families so this will be a bit of an uphill battle but one I am willing to fight. Sadly, I still have almost 2 years left under their roof before college. Until then I'll just have to live with it and hope to change their minds.

It's funny though, I actually managed to convince them to let me wear my kilt to my high school's Homecoming dance this fall. Seems somewhat odd they would let me do that but not wear it whenever I choose casually.

**Kilted KT** · 17th December 06, 08:48 AM

Another thing you can do is wear shirts and what not relating to the kilt, like an Xmarks shirt, or one from any of the other vendors here ( urge for shameless plug painfully beatten down). Even if you are not wearing the kilt, you can wear items that will get your parents used to seeing you in kilted attire of one form or another might help your cause.