I need some help with my family.

**neo71665** · 17th December 06, 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by sorcererdale

Hey Neo, I didn't mean it to sound like that, I was thinking of Nate's parents. One of my friends is a punk rocker. He got into some trouble and ended up in jail and I was the only one who wrote to him and visited him except his parents for some time. Sorry, punkers are cool! I didn't mean to have it sound like that. I hope you forgive me.

DALE.

No harm no foul, its all good.

**Splash_4** · 17th December 06, 01:19 PM

A couple of other ideas are to find literature on the kilt and it's history for your father. A couple of really good resources are the one by Matt Newsome titled "patented advice for the first time kilt wearer" and "so your going to wear the kilt". I have both of these available should you wish to borrow them.

**Jimmy the Celt** · 17th December 06, 03:29 PM

My family was a little uncomfortable being seen with me in a kilt, but they slowly began to recognize that the attention I get is positive [and I've yet to have a negative reaction from the general public]. Perhaps if they see that, they will back off a bit and be more accepting.

There are a few great articles on kiltmen.com that offer sound advice; you may want to read those, or even have your family read them.

Best of luck.

**souzaphone711** · 17th December 06, 05:17 PM

Dragoninterrupted, thanks for the reminder about kiltmen.com I had completely forgotten about that resource and how useful it might be. I'm going to direct my parents there so they can take a look at it.

-Nate

**flairball** · 18th December 06, 09:05 AM

Don't expect the change to happen overnight. If your father changes his opinion it will happen gradually. My wife was initially resistant to my kilt wearing, but she is slowly changing. The change came about as a direct result of the many positive comments I've recieved while wearing the kilt.

My advice would be to find times, and occassions when it would be acceptable to your father to wear your kilt with your father. On those occassions make sure you look your best; nice shirt, tie, hose, flashes,...the works. In short, dress like, and act like a complete gentleman. Over time your father will begin to realize that you are recieving positive reactions, and compliments from people, and slowly he will realize that wearing a kilt is no big deal.

It's often been said that the dress makes the man, and I believe this to be especially true when kilted. Use the kilt to shape your life, and mold you into what your parents want you to be; a gentleman. This is something that you should take an interest in as well. I recommend buying a book on the subject. If the outfit doesn't draw positive comments your behavior will. If your father sees what a gentleman you are becoming he might also start to realize that what you wear isn't too important.

**Deil the Yin** · 18th December 06, 09:28 PM

For my two cents worth... KEEP PUSHING THE ENVELOPE, albeit gently, of how much they let you wear the kilt. The more they are around you in the kilt and in public, the more comfortable they'll become and especially they'll see how positive most folk really see it.

Be sure to never be disrespectful to them when discussing the matter, and I imagine two very usefull qualities might be humility and patience. I'd bet good money that in the end if they dont come to positively support you, they will at least respect your interest in wearing the kilt.

As others have mentioned, learn all you can about the culture which has spawned the kilt and why so many men are so proud to wear it (I am assuming you are wearing it for cultural significance at least in some way). A great way to introduce your parents to this is to take them to the Stone Mountain Games or some other such reputable Scottish Fest. There is also the Atlanta Celtic Fest and several good Fests in nearbye South Carolina.

Hope that's usefull... Best of Luck with it. Maybe we'll see you at Burns!

**corbinj** · 19th December 06, 09:21 AM

Hey, I am the father of a kilt wearing kid. My son Iver wears his kilts alot. He started wearing them to school his freshman year. He is now almost 16 years old. His mother is very opposed to kilt wearing (she hates mine she hates his) so we have established a few ground rules. 1.his grades have to be his best, 2. He has to respect his elders, even the dumb ones (this rule is esp. hard for me I have been a punk my whole life and i'm old!) 3. he has to wear boxers under (even the Queen agrees with this, high school is no place for the regiment) 4. He must always reflect our family values, courage, honesty, integrity, respect, and humility. He must never be involved in anything that hurts his or the families reputation. He works hard to be a good kid, I'm sure if you do also, You will be able to wear your kilt. Help your parents make some kilt rules for you to follow. Then follow them, be respectful. kilt on!

**Splash_4** · 19th December 06, 10:31 AM

Originally Posted by corbinj

Hey, I am the father of a kilt wearing kid. My son Iver wears his kilts alot. He started wearing them to school his freshman year. He is now almost 16 years old. His mother is very opposed to kilt wearing (she hates mine she hates his) so we have established a few ground rules. 1.his grades have to be his best, 2. He has to respect his elders, even the dumb ones (this rule is esp. hard for me I have been a punk my whole life and i'm old!) 3. he has to wear boxers under (even the Queen agrees with this, high school is no place for the regiment) 4. He must always reflect our family values, courage, honesty, integrity, respect, and humility. He must never be involved in anything that hurts his or the families reputation. He works hard to be a good kid, I'm sure if you do also, You will be able to wear your kilt. Help your parents make some kilt rules for you to follow. Then follow them, be respectful. kilt on!

Now, this is really good advice.

**Captain** · 19th December 06, 10:33 AM

Yeah, I think helping to establish the rules and then following them shows a lot of maturity and respect to your parents... and will hopefully get them off your back a little...

**souzaphone711** · 19th December 06, 01:24 PM

Currently I do have the non-regimental rule as well as the grades rule although those don't bother me much. Right now it's just getting them comfortable with the idea that this isn't something short term that will stop but a continuous part of who I am. I think once I get that across they might be a little more accepting of the whole idea.

My first step so far is that I emailed my parents with a well thought out and well written email explaining why I wear it and why i intend to continue to wear as well as a few things to ease some of their fears. I'll post a copy of it up here this evening at some point to let you all take a look at it and share your opinions.